Captain's log, Guybrush Threepwood: On our way back to
Melee island now, after another BIG adventure. No, I'm not on about defeating LeChuck for the third time. My
Last was adventure was in my head, Literally. Here's what happened. I was going house hunting with my wife Elaine
on Freak Island........
I don't know why she chose Freak Island, It was the
creepiest island in the Caribbean. The swamp was a lake of hair gel, the monkeys were triple three-headed ones,
and the sand was blue. I was not happy at all. She already had three islands. We argued so much we stopped
talking to each other.
The next day I was feeling blue. I decided to go for a walk around this strange island. I was walking past
the rotten old duck tree, (yes, DUCK tree that ducks grew from) and then one of the cute little 9 headed
monkeys (the triple three-headed monkeys that I told you about) jumped in front of me holding a razor sharp
spear. I knew that a dozen more would come up from the bushes any minute. I was right of course. SMACK! the
spear had hit my head with maximum impact!
A few minutes later, I woke up. I went to lift my hand to touch it to my aching head when I
realized I was
tied to a pole in some sort of native village! My green jacket was covered with oil! I had a baaaaad feeling
about this. Next to me was another pole with a woman tied to it.
"Elaine?" I said.
"Oh, hello Guybrush. Looks like you've woken up." She said.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, these monkeys found out about our ship landing on the beach and about how I plan to buy the island. They
were not happy so they came to the hotel and brought me here. They probably took you because you're with me."
A few minutes later one of the monkeys came along and set fire to the wood by our saw ankles.
"Oh dear. That explains the oil". I said to Elaine.
"Got any ideas?" She asked.
The fire burned away the ropes around my ankles quickly. NOW I had an Idea. It was simply a case of stamping out
the not so intense fire with my new boots before the fire got any higher. When I had done that I kicked the bottom
of the pole with my feet. This broke it and now I could run around with a pole tied to my back. I run over to
Elaine's pole, lied down, and let the fire burn away the ropes. It was lucky she hadn't stamped out her fire yet.
I quickly untied Elaine and we both ran to the village gate. Unfortunately two of the monkeys jumped
in front of us.
"Follow us" They said.
We trekked through the duck tree jungle until we came
across a big hut.
"Get in there, now." said the monkey. We entered the hut and then we saw something like we've never seen before.
We starred in amazement at the gruesome, quere, 100 HEADED MONKEY!
"This must be their leader." I said.
Then the monkey spoke." I am THE leader! You two are trying to take over this island! We won't allow it. I
rule this island!"
"well, not take it over," Elaine said. "Just buy it."
"Buy it from me? don't make me laugh", The chief said.
"No, We're buying it from Stan of Stan's previously owned islands.
"Oh, yes him" The chief said. "Well, I'm not going to KILL you. Stan's the one I'm going to kill. You will be
punished. Guards, strap the humans to the slabs. Now, I'm going to curse ya both. After I place the curse, you should
fall asleep. When you have you will dream a horrible dream. If you die in that dream the curse will cause you
to die too." The chief finished his lecture on his 'Master plans' with a sigh of relief.
"Hang on," I shouted," You said we weren't going to die!"
The chief answered. "So I did. But in this situation you MIGHT die" The chief then chanted something and then.....I blanked out.