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Stan's Pre-Used Adventure
By 1


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Chapter 2: Into The Lion's Den


I reached Monkey Island at noon. There was this Nobrain guy, waiting for me to arrive. Well, apart from being a talking skeleton that looked like a giant puppet moved by…oh, what ever, he looked like the silliest man…or perhaps better…former man over the earth. He looked like a giant skeletal gorilla porting a sign, in which stood “Mizter Rozenvlumentalboitch”. I didn’t want to know how the hell he would have written my name. Oh well, I disembarked at neared myself to him.


“You be Mr. Rozen’ch?” he said. His voice sounded different as the one that talked with me through the cell phone. Apart, he had no idea of grammar or vocabulary. After all, the slogan was right, “no brain, yada yada yada”.

“Hey,” I said “your voice sounds slightly different. It’s not the one that talked to me yesterday.”

“No, that be my secretary” (I supposed he said that, cause he mumbled something that sounded like “zekreteri”) “I not able to attend calls and crush heads at same time.”


Logical. How the hell would you attend a call, take notes and wield a deadly mace at the same time? I think that it was the one and only bit of brightness I saw of him. By the way, who was his secretary? Having to cope with a braindead skeletal bodyguard (and having to take care of his affairs) was a fairly tough going. Anyway, I feel like I’m going a little bit more psychic than I usually am. If I don’t carry on with my story right now, I’m gonna start talking ‘bout a poor boy washed up in a Caribbean island, with nothing more than a stupid name and the strong will of becoming a pirate. His name was…oh, never mind. Surely everybody who reads this best-seller (‘cause I’m gonna sell it by myself) knows already who I’m talking about. Well, my braindead fella seemed prone to chatting.

“What you want to do?” he asked.

“Oh, if it were possible, I’d be grateful to visit everything on this island,” I answered. Well, actually, if that guy would have been a little more clever, I wouldn’t have asked it THAT clearly. I was feeling a little insecure because of my last question, but, in the end, there was nothing to worry about.

“No problemo. Let’s go.” he decided.

We started wandering around. He showed me everything, from the ruins of Big Whoop ‘till the castle-church on the side of the volcano. Then, we entered the catacombs. I was shivering with excitement.

“And this be LeChuck’s hidden lair.” Nobrain felt proud of his master’s place.

I shook. The door opened slowly, producing a sound of rocks scratching. The inside light invaded the dark tunnel in which we stood, blinding me for a while. Despite the fact that I couldn’t see, I leapt forth. Although, the biggest surprise came when I saw the inside. It was empty. They had gone.



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