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Monkey Island: Pirate
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Part 1: The Captain Who Became a Cabin Boy, The Cabin Boy Who Became a Pirate, The Pirate Who Defied a Multi-Millionaire…

The day was dark as Captain Guybrush stood upon the deck of his proud ship, staring at the monkey-infested land with cold and unforgiving eyes. He knew in his mind that they would fall to the feet of the proud Melee Island Government, just like all the others that have dared resisted before them. As Guybrush walked the deck, Otis and Carla trailed behind him.

"Monkeys should know when they are conquered..." Otis croaked with his usual accent.

"Yes..." Guybrush replied. "Or at least clean up their mess.... Look at all those banana peels! No wonder Elaine wants me to clean up this place!"

Sure enough, as the Captain said, Carla and Otis stared at the sea to behold a rotten mass of banana peels.

"Has the messenger returned yet, Carla?"

Knowing the doomed fate of the messenger, Carla kept silent.

"Carla?" Guybrush echoed.

"No, Captain... He hasn't returned yet..." She finally responded.

"Well then.... We'll just have to wait...”

Carla sighed and returned to her position.

After an hour of intense waiting, the messenger was riding on the horizon, his face riddled with horrifying mixture of bruises and banana crème pie.

Seeing this, Guybrush knew what he had to do.

"Otis! Carla!" he beckoned out to them, waiting impatiently as they rushed over to the deck.

"Carla... You were right... The negotiations have failed...” he admitted. "So I'm riding behind enemy lines myself..."

"Guybrush! You mustn’t! Let me do it! You have a family for crying out loud!" Carla protested

"Carla, listen to me... What will happen when the men find out that their Captain is a coward? The risk of a mutiny is too great..." Guybrush responded as he prepared his boat.


"They've got porcelain!" Carla yelled back.

As Carla mentioned the forbidden "P" word (which I myself dare not say) Guybrush turned pale with fear and looked at Carla.

"They.... They... Do?" he said, in a low and shaken voice.

"Yes... They do..."

Knowing his duties as a Captain and (very) loving husband, Guybrush slapped himself on the face and tried to shake off the terror of his life.

"That's ok, Carla... I can do this... As I said... I have to set a good example for my crew." Guybrush said proudly as he made his way to his boat, tripping on several banana peels camouflaged on the deck.

Carla just shook her head as she went back with Otis to her position.

Guybrush stood up again and made sure no one was watching as he went into his boat.

"Otis..." he said, as he lowered his vessel.

"On my signal, unleash all heck..." he said bravely. (What? You think I'd use the "h" word in a GP rated movie?)

"Yes, sir..." he replied, saluting.

Guybrush rowed cautiously across the island as he readied his banana eliminator. The sight of Elaine giving him a hero's welcome back home on the capital of Melee Island warmed his heart and prepared him for battle.

"Guybrush" he told himself. "... The battle will be long and hard... But remember, if you ever faint and see a tunnel... Keep away from the light..."

Back in the front lines of the battle, a monkey, with a banana and a crème pie in hand, emerged from the trees...

"Viva la revolucion!" he cried, munching on his banana.

"Whoa..." Carla exclaimed.

"A French talking monkey... You don't see that everyday..." she continued, as she got back to work.

Finally, after another hour of waiting, a figure emerged from the trees, holding a sign that read: "I like my islands without monkeys, but I like Monkey Island!"

"The signal!" Carla shouted.

Then, in an instant, an explosion followed in the background, eliminating all of their banana based ammunition.

Seeing this, Carla sighed with a breath of relief. Guybrush made it.

The monkeys, however, didn't seem too happy about this, so they made an unexpected move: they headed towards Guybrush.

"Oh no..." Otis said. ".... What's plan B?"

"This." Carla said, grabbing her gun.

"Charge! Eliminate the Monkeys!" she yelled out to the crew.

Like furious cats stuck into toilets, the crew charged at the monkeys. It was a malevolent struggle with monkeys, bananas and more monkeys flying through the air. The battle lasted for hours and hours without end. Finally, the monkey stronghold fell to the crew of the Melee Island Government and the battlefield was grim: from the hundreds of unconscious monkeys to the wasted bananas to Otis screaming, "Monkeys! It’s full of de monkeys!". It was then that from the rotten and unpeeled bananas that Guybrush emerged, walking slowly towards his men and trying not to slip on the spoiled fruit.

"Well Captain," Carla said. "It's time to call it a day..."


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