Lechuck had just ordered his skeleton pirates to attack Elaine's
fort, and of course Murray was a skeleton pirate.
They went out and started attacking the fort. Wally was shooting at it from inside the
ship. Murray was shooting like crazy and he was tired from all of it, and he was hungry,
so he took a lunch break.
"Who ate my sandwich and left half of it here!" Murray exclaimed.
"I did"said another skeleton. "Your a very sad sick little man"said
Then Murray continued shooting at the fort with a funny grin on his face.
Back in Lechuck's hold, Guybrush had just told how much of a failure as a pirate Wally was
He went to the ground threw his hook down and started crying his eyes out.
Guybrush made a gaff out of a ramrod and Wally's hook.
Since Wally didn't need the cannon anymore, Guybrush decided to take advantage of the
He decided to use the cannon.
"This is goin' to be cool" he said
BOOM! he sunk one of the ships.
The skeletons still thought Wally was using the cannon.
"What are you doing Wally you fool!" Murray exclaimed.
Guybrush fired again. BOOM! he sunk another one.
"STOP Wally or I'll tie you to a chair and tape your eyelids open and make you watch
barney and friends for five hours straight."BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Murray shouted.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Guybrush sunk every ship appart from Murray's.
"Crap he's aiming straight at us!"said Murray.
Guybrush fired at Murray's ship.
"DOH!" said Murray.
"Hey I'm gettin' pretty good at this" said Guybrush.
Murray started floating up to Guybrush on a plank of wood.
"Hey, wait a minute that's not Wally!" "It looks like some fool selling
leather jackets" said Murray.
When he came over to the ship he looked at his arm."Hey that's my arm floating over
"Well they've messed with the wrong skull this time" he said as Guybrush looked
out the window.
"Can I call you Bob?" Guybrush asked.
"No you may call me MURRAY, I am a powerful demonic force, I am the harbinger of your
doom, and the forces of darkness will applaud me as I stride through the gates of Hell
carrying your head upon a pike!" said Murray.
"Stride?" Guybrush asked.
"All right then roll, roll through the gates of Hell, do you have to take the fun out
of everything?" asked Murray
"I have a feeling your not taking me very seriously" said Murray.
"No I am" said Guybrush.
"Then let me hear you scream in terror" said Murray.
"eek" said Guybrush.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" said Murray.
"I'm going now" Guybrush said.
He picked Murray's arm up with the gaff he made.
"Hey that's my arm!" said Murray.
Then suddenly Murray saw the cannon fire. Then there was suddenly a big explosion.
Lechucks VooDoo cannon ball had blow up on board the ship! The ship capsized and Murray
was washed ashore on plunder island.
Then some kids came by. They picked Murray up. "Hey" said Murray. Then they
stuck him up on an arch that goes in to a VooDoo priestess' house. "You guys are the
saddest sick little guys in the world!" said Murray to the kids. He saw Guybrush go
in to the VooDoo priestess, said a few words to him, but that's not important right now.
When Guybrush came out he asked Murray:"If I gave you back your arm what would you do
"I'd use it to reek havoc among the living and... ehh what I meant to say was I'd use
it to pet kittens" Murray said
"Nice try Murray" Guybrush said. Then Guybrush gave Murray some chewing gum.
"Mmmmmhhhh" Murray said. and he walked off. In the meantime Murray was thinking
of a way to get down.
"Hmm... maybe I could grow wings with the power of my mind
and fly away and get my body"he said
Then suddenly Guybrush walked up to him, he was listening to him all the time.
"Frankly, I don't think that's goin' to happen Murray"he said. "Well maybe
if I....." he said.
"Face It! It's not goin' to happen" Guybrush said.
"Well..... I suppose your right" Murray said. "I know what if I jump down
on a bird when It's under me and it flies me to a palace in the stars" he said.
"Ok..... the men in the white coats are coming to get you now!" Guybrush said.
Then Guybrush went off.
Guybrush then got his map, his ship and his crew. When they were
busy putting all the gear in the ship, Murray somehow managed to hop down, roll around for
about an hour and hop all they way into a small box that
Haggis Mcmutton was going to carry into the ship. Murray made it on board but the lid of
the box was nailed shut and Murray couldn't see his hands in front of his face, not that
he had any of course. Then he thought that his body must have been blown to five different
islands from the blast from the VooDoo cannon ball. In the box there was a small gas
cooker with two rings for travelling, there was also saw-dust at the bottom so it woudn't
get broken. Murray heard Cuttroat Bill say "I'm hungry, let's eat!" Then Murray
heard someone coming so he hid under the saw-dust. It was Cuttroat Bill, he didn't shut
the lid so Murray quickly hopped out and rolled over to the corner.
"Where am I?" he said.
"It looks like the hold" "If only I could remove
the grating and get out on to the deck" he said.
"Let me think what would Macgyver do in this situation if he was a demonic
skull?" he said to himself.
"Hmmmm" he said as he looked around "I've got
It!" "All I need is a coat hanger, a swiss army knife, saw-dust
, a stick, sellotape, a match and superglue." "Right" he said. Then he
sellotaped the coat hanger on the end of the stick and sellotaped the swiss army knife on
the end of that, then he started scraping at the grate with it.Eventually he made a little
notch in the grate then he put superglue on the end of the swiss army knife
and put the glue in the notch.Then he brought it down and took the swiss army knife off it
and stuck the coat hanger in the notch and after a while it wouldn't move, then he put
sawdust in his mouth and climbed up the stick
then he realised that the "saw-dust" was in fact gunpowder. "Even
Better" he thought to himself then he spat the gunpowder at the grate. Then he went
back down took the match and went back up he struck the match off the grate, then he set
fire to the gunpowder! BOOM! he fell down "AAAHHHHH!" "I think I broke my
skull I'm all skull!" he said. "How come the others didn't hear that?" he
"Well I better find a way up there anyway!" Then he got
another stick put glue on it, stuck it to the roof beside the hole and climbed up.
"Were on an island, they must have gone to get supplies" "Hey look my
collar bone!, now if I could only get my arms"
"Hmmm, what island is this" "There's a sign, Grog
Island..... what kind of name is that for an Island?"
"It says here the discoverer of this island was so drunk he thought it was a mug of
grog saying drink me!" he said.
"He must of been completely twistarooned!"
Meanwhile Guybrush,Haggis Mcmutton,Cuttroat Bill and Edward van
helgan were looking around town to see if there was anywhere they could buy supplies.After
4 hours they finnaly gave up and went to the tavern.
Guybrush read the sign on the bar: "R.U.M. bar (Owned by the
same owners of the S.C.U.M.M. bar, but you can't get rum here, so go elsewhere!)
stands for: Rats Under Me." Guybrush and his crew went in and there was rats all over
"Now I now what they meant by Rats Under Me!" said
They sat beside a small pirate with a fake beard and a fake eye
Guybrush said to him: "Don't I know you from somewhere?" "Wally!"
"Oh hello Mr. brush, I've thought about what you said and
I've decided to become a pirate map seller!" said Wally "You see I liked being a
pirate but I was a failure, and I'm good at being a cartographer, so I decided to go half
way, a pirate map seller!, I also sell maps to treasure including one to the golden grog
"What in the world is the golden grog mug?" asked
"They say the discoverer of this island owned it, and whoever drinks from it will
just have to snap their fingers and point somewhere and a mug of grog will magically
appear! it is also said that if you spilled some grog from the mug on anything the thing
you spilled it on would melt away, including diamond!" said Wally.
"That's almost as stupid as Murray
talkin' about the bird
that might fly him off to a palace in the stars!" said Guybrush
"I only have one map to it and it's the only one in the
world!" "They say it's guarded by a drunken ghost pirate called:
also say Ledrunkie is the brother of Lechuck!" said Wally excitedly
"The brother of Lechuck! I never new he had a brother! what
if there's a whole army of people with Le at the start of their name that are related to
Lechuck like:Lefatso or Ledopey or Legit!" exclaimed Guybrush
"They say he throws bottles of whiskey at ya if you're stupid
enough to go up there!" said Wally
"Will you stop saying they say at the start of almost every
one of your sentences!" said Guybrush
"Well anyway what brings you here
Mr.brush?" Wally asked
"A hole was discovered at the bottom of our ship and we need tar to repair it, so I
guess were stuck here unless we get some tar" said Guybrush
"It just so happens I have some tar back at my house!, but
it's very valuable, Elvis presley once owned it, but the only thing i'd be willing to sell
it for would be the golden grog mug!" said Wally
"So I guess we'll have to go get the golden grog mug, how
much for that map Wally?" Guybrush asked
"55000 Pieces 'o Eight!" Wally said
"55000 Pieces 'o Eight! I can't afford that! but could I
interest you in this fine leather jacket? Only 5000 Pieces 'o Eight, and it was owned by
The King himself Elvis Presley! it would be a good adition to your collection of Elvis
stuff if I do say so myself!"Guybrush said
Cuttroat Bill "I didn't know your jacket was owned
Guybrush:"Shut up, shut up" he said quietly
Cuttroat Bill:"Oh you mean THAT jacket wink wink
"Hmmm I dunno that's pretty high, but it was owned by
"Ok, here you go 5000 Pieces 'o Eight!" said Wally
"Now all we need is 50000 Pieces 'o Eight, I'm open to any
suggestions any of you may have" said Guybrush
"I know! we could get bagpipes and sing along the side of the
road with a hancherchief opened out on the ground laddie!" said Haggis
"I don't think so" said Guybrush
"I've got the perfect solution! once I saved Mr.T's life and
he said that if I needed a faver like a loan of money or something to come by
anytime!" said Cuttroat Bill
"The only problem is where does he live?" said Guybrush
"I know we could ask Wally does he have a map to where Mr.T lives!" said
"Wally do you have a map to where Mr.T lives?" said
"Yes Mr.brush, you can have it for 300 Pieces 'o Eight, Mr.T lives on Mist Island,
it's about 10 miles from scabb island there's really thick mist around it you know"
said Wally"Here you go!" said Guybrush and he gave Wally 300 Pieces 'o Eight and
Wally gave him the map.
"Well I guess we'll have to hire a ship for about 3
weeks" said Guybrush
Just then Stan came by "Did someone say they had to hire a ship? it just so happens
I'm in the ship rental bussiness, for 3 weeks it would be about hmmm let me think......
4700 Pieces 'o Eight Exactly " he said
"There you go" said Guybrush "This one's got an engine!"Stan added
"Now let's sail to mist island!" said Guybrush
Part:2 Mist Island
Guybrush and his crew went to their rented ship after they gave
Stan the money. When they got onboard, They decided that Haggis would be steering it,
Edward Van Helgan should be in the crows nest and Cuttroat Bill would be on the cannons,
Guybrush however just laid in a hammock out on deck and slept. But anyway back to Murray.
Murray was rolling about everywhere looking for Guybrush and his
crew, they were no where to be seen.
Finnaly Murray rolled up beside the R.U.M. bar, there was an odd looking guy beside it
with a badge
saying:Ask me about Loom.
"Where have they gone?! they've gone off the Island! I
know! maybe I could bring them back using the demonic powers of my mind!" Exclaimed
"Are you that there nut house escapee that we be
about the past few months? Oh! I forgot somethin' ask me about Loo!" said the odd guy
"Eh don't you mean Loom?" said Murray
"Aye I do sorry, I used to be a toilet salesman ya see!" said the odd guy
"Ok then I'm going now you oddball! Ouch!" said Murray
as he headbutted the R.U.M. bar's doors open.
"Ar! look at that there ugly lookin' football comin' through that there door! It
reminds me of a story back in
1915 no 1989 no actually I think it was 1923 that's the one, anyway I was sittin' down one
mornin' and I wanted to have a piece a toast for me breakfast I set the toaster to 3
medium brown......" said a drunken pirate.
Wally came up to Murray."Hey aren't you one of Lechuck's
"Furray isn't it?" he said "NO! you fool I am MURRAY! I am a powerful
demonic force, I am the harbinger of your doom, and the forces of darkness will applaud me
as I stride through the gates of Hell carrying your head upon a pike!" he said
"Stride?" Wally said "Alright then ROLL! ROLL through the gates of
Hell!" Murray said "That's not the first time someone's said that you know"
"Did you see a bone of any sort around here by any
chance?" Murray said "Because as you can see I've lost my body"
"Acually I did, I saw 2" Wally said "They flew up into the mountain, I
think it was an arm and a rib cage split up into 2 pieces" "You mean my rib cage
is split up!" Murray said "It could be anywhere!"
"I think I now about where it is" Wally said "I lost a pair of shoes up
there aswell and they were a good pair too!"
"Well what if I help you look for your shoes and you help
me look for my bones" Murray said
"Ok" Wally said" "BWAHAHAHAHAHA! when I get my body back I will reek
havoc among the living and take over the wor.... what I meant to say was I will make
breakthroughs in medicine and help mankind, yes that's it" Murray said.
Elsewhere Guybrush and his crew where sailing to Mist Island to
"You know" Haggis said "sailin' to Mist Island lookin' for Mr.T reminds me
of a song"
Lookin' for Mr.T
Haggis:We're a band of vicous pirates
Edward Van Helgan:A lookin' for Mr.T
Cuttroat Bill:When you here our gentle singin'
Haggis:Ya be sure to turn and bring us across the sea
Edward Van Helgan:To Mr.T
Cuttroat Bill:Were goin' to search all the islands
Haggis:In Scotland I was born in the Highlands
All:Lookin' for Mr.T
Cuttroat Bill:Cause he's a friend of me
All:Lookin' for Mr.T!!!!!!!
"Back to work everyone" Guybrush said "Or we'll
never find Mr.T"
"Aye cap'en" Cuttroat Bill said
Guybrush got back in his hammock and just as he got comfortable
Edward Van Helgan shouted:"LAND HO!"
Guybrush jumped up quickly "OUCH!" he said as he hit his head on the roof.
"It's Mist Island"
Edward Van Helgan said "Just look at that Mist!" "Aye it be the thickest
mist i've ever seen!" Haggis said "It be circlin' all around the island
laddie!" "That's thicker than I ever imagined it to be" Cuttroat Bill said.
"Steer 'er towards Mist Island Haggis" Guybrush said
"Aye aye cap'en" Haggis said "Steerin' 'er towards Mist Island"
Guybrush ran to the bow of the ship to get a better view of the
island "Full throttle ahead Mr.mcmutton!" he said
When they were through the thick cloud of mist they were going too fast "FULL
ASTERN!" Guybrush shouted
"Were goin' to crash!" "Aye, aye full astern" Haggis said "FULL
"Hold on to somethin' were goin' FULL ASTERN!"
The ship shot back like lightnin' "What speed are we
doin'?" Guybrush asked
"20 knots laddie accordin' to this speedometer!" Haggis said
"Ahead!" Guybrush shouted "Ahead quick, but NOT
"Aye laddie, ahead" Haggis said "About 5 knots" When they got beside
Mist Island they went on to Mist Island.
"Well...... how are we going to find
said "Look there's a sign beside a house saying I pity fools who brake my
chains" Haggis said "That must be Mr.T's house" "Let's go!"
"When they came up the Mr.T's house the door was open so
they went in "I pity the fool who comes in to my house and doesn't knock" Mr.T
shouted "I kill the fool!" "It's me!" Cuttroat Bill said "I've
got some friends with me too, this is Guybrush Threepwood, Haggis Mcmutton and Edward Van
Helgan" "Jeepkood that's a fools name!" Mr.T said "THREEPWOOD!"
Guybrush shouted "THREEPWOOD!" "Oh Threepwood" Mr.T said
"Mcmutton that's an odd name" "Aye it is laddie" Haggis said
"There's an old story about how my family have the name Mcmutton well it goes like
this my Great Grandfather's last name was Mcbutton and he was in a war and he loved to eat
mutton it was his favourite food, so all the other soldiers called him Mcmutton, in the
end he changed his name to Mcmutton, and that be the story of how my family got the name
"Anyway why did you fools come here?" Mr.T said
"Well it's a long story but here it is anyway we were shipwrecked on Grog Island and
we needed some tar so Wally said he'd give us his tar for the Golden grog mug but the
problem is we need 55000 Pieces o' Eight to buy the map to it from Wally" Guybrush
"So can we have 55000 Pieces o' Eight since I saved your life and got a bullet in my
leg" said Cuttroat Bill
"Ok man here's 55500 Pieces o' Eight and keep the change" Mr.T said
"Cool!" Guybrush said when they came out of Mr.T's
house "I can't believe he gave it to us for free!"
"Now back to Grog Island with us laddie!" Haggis said
Then Guybrush and his crew went down to thier ship and got
onboard "Mcmutton take the wheel, Van Helgan go to the crow's nest, and Bill man the
cannons, oh and Mcmutton set a course for Grog Island!" Guybrush said
Back on Grog Island Wally and Murray were looking for Murray's
bones and Wally's shoes. "It's just a bit further now and we'll be about were I lost
my shoes and around were I saw your bones fly into" Wally said as he and Murray
quickly ran up the mountain side (of course Murray was in the in-side pocket of Wally's
"Here we are" Wally said "HHHHFFGFGGHFGFGGGFFGMMMFGGGFFGGFG!!!!!!"
Murray said in Wally's coat pocket "What?!" Wally said "I can't hear what
your saying I'm going to get you out of there"
Then Wally took Murray out of his pocket and dropped him accidentally "Whoops!"
he said "AAAAAHHHHH! OUCH! you fool I think I broke my skull!" Murray said
"Sorry" Wally said "Now lets look for your bones and my shoes!"
Meanwhile Guybrush and his crew were nearing Grog Island.
"FULL AHEAD Mcmutton!" Guybrush said "NO! NOT FULL AHEAD WHATEVER
YOU DO!" "What about 8 knots laddie?" Haggis said "Ok Mcmutton"
Guybrush said "LAND HO!" Edward Van Helgan said "Mcmutton, moor her beside
Grog Island" Guybrush said "Aye laddie" Haggis said "Whoops"
CRACK! "The speed control levery thingy broke, we can't stop were goin' to crash
laddie!" Then the ship got closer and closer to Grog Island, then suddenly there was
a loud smash, they crashed (That rhymes a bit). "Ow" Guybrush said as he lifted
his face out of the sand "That hurt, hhmmm I wonder where the others are" Then
Guybrush walked into town "Hhhmmm were could they be?" he kept asking himself.
Soon afterwards he went into the R.U.M. bar and sat down beside an odd looking guy with a
badge saying: Ask me about Loom. "One Grog please!" Guybrush said "Hey
don't I know you from somewhere?" "Maybe, ya look sort of familiar but only a
little bit" the odd guy said "I know! on Melee Island! remember in the
S.C.U.M.M. bar!"Guybrush said "YES! I remember now!" said the odd guy
"I never got your name did I?" Guybrush said "Cobb, I'm not actually sure
if it's my last name, my first name, or my full name" the odd guy said "Ya see I
kind of forget sometimes, I'm a bit loony in the head if ya know what I mean"
"Here's your Grog!" the barman said to Guybrush. "Mmmmm" Guybrush said
as he drank his Grog "Well got to be going!" "Wait! I didn't get your
name" Cobb said to Guybrush "Eh" Guybrush said as he tried to think of a
"Eh... Vangoughderfassenson, Jethro Vangoughderfassenson" he said to him
"Bye JethroVancoughkershasasenson" Cobb struggled to say "Yes that's my
name he he he he he" Guybrush said
Then Guybrush went out of the R.U.M. bar and looked around town.
Eventually he found another bar called the T.H.U.M.B. bar T.H.U.M.B. stands for The
Happiest Unmistakably Magical Bar. "Yeah right I bet that's magical, NOT!"
Guybrush said. Then he went in and sat down there was 3 people singing on the stage and
they looked very drunk. "Hmmm is that.... Nah couldn't be" Guybrush said
"It is! it's Hagggggggis, Biiiiiiiiilllllll aaaaaannnnnnnndddddd
Edddddddwwwaaaarrrdddd" "Heeeeeyyyyyy cooouuulllldddd yooooouuuu sttttooooopppp
ssshhhaaaakkiinngg tthhheee ttaaabbbleee pppllleeeeaaaasseeee!" Guybrush said to the
pirate siting next to him that was shaking the table "Sorry" he said "Were
a band of drunken pirates a drinking all the sea when ya hear are gentle singin' ya be
sure not to give us tea! la la la la la la la la I think i'm goin' ta be sick!" the
drunken pirates sang. "Come down here and sober up!" Guybrush said "Aye aye
cap'en birdseye I can get your gold back!" Haggis said "Your as drunk as the guy
who discovered this island!" Guybrush said
"Punk! who said I was as much of a punk as Haggis that was born in the
highlands!" Edward said. Then they all collapsed on the floor and
Guybrush dragged them outside one by one.
The next day they woke up sober outside the
"Wow what happened, I can't remember a thing" Bill said "You were
drunk!" Guybrush said "Wow I got a hangover!" Haggis said "No actually
that's me knocking on your head trying to get you to waken up!" Guybrush said
"We've got to get that map off Wally". So then Guybrush and his crew went to the
R.U.M. bar looking for Wally "Where is he?!" Guybrush said "Did anyone see
a short guy with brown/red hair around here?" "I did, he left with a talking
skull yesterday sometime to look for bones and shoes in the mountain" One pirate said
"MURRAY!" Guybrush shouted. Then he and his crew ran up the mountain.
Back up in the mountain Murray and Wally were looking for thier
stuff. "Hey what's this?" Wally said "It looks like a bone!"
"Where?!" Murray said "Wait no it's just a long rock that looks like an
arm" "I found something look, it's my arm!" Murray said "Attach it
quick!" "There you go" Wally said as he put Murray's arm on.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Murray exclaimed "Soon I will be invincible!"