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The Secret of Monkey Island - Forum Style -
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Chapter 1: SCUMM Bar: Revisited

A cold, wet wind blew through the cobblestone road and out into the tropical ocean. Small waves splashed against the dock making the way a slippery one. The dock creaked under the weight of a tall, bearded man in an overcoat. The sound of laughter and music could be heard over the howling wind in the direction of the SCUMM Bar. The man slowly approached the tavern being careful to keep his footing. He had just come back from a year at sea doing the normal things pirates do: sacking, looting, and pillaging. It was good to be back on Melee Island and the SCUMM Bar in particular. He stepped off the deck and onto the wonderful terra firma. He stepped up to the door to the bar hand set his hand on the handle. Just as he was about to open the door a short, red-bearded man stepped in his way.

“Do you have a reserva…, oh, sorry, wrong script.” The man said, “What is your “codename”?”

“Codename?” the tall man asked.

“We’ve been having some trouble with a few pirates, the codenames help keep out the riffraff.”

“Oh, then you may call me Monkey Wrangler.”

The short man checked his list for that name.

“Ahh, here you are. You haven’t been here in some time.”

The short man let Monkey Wrangler pass. Inside the SCUMM Bar the mood was joyous. There was loud laughter and lots of talking. There were holes all through the floor where grog had spilled. The walls were covered with streaks of blood (or red dye #2). It was quite crowded and it took some experienced maneuvering to get to the center of the bar. There wasn’t much notice to Monkey Wrangler until he stood up on a table and gave himself a loud introduction.

“Hello friends!” he yelled, “It is I, Monkey Wrangler, and I am back from my year-long voyage!”

Many of the pirates Monkey Wrangler did not recognize, but a few he remembered and they remembered him. A tall, limber man with a feather in his hat walked up to Monkey Wrangler directly after the introduction. Both men grabbed each other’s hand strongly.

“Greetings, Monkey Wrangler!” the man said.

“Raven Image!” Monkey Wrangler exclaimed, “It’s good to see you. Your now one of the Important-Looking Pirates, aren’t you?”

Raven Image chuckled, “Yes I am.”

Monkey Wrangler sat down at the table that he had first stood on and Raven Image sat as well. At that same time, another familiar figure made his way through the crowd. A blond, blue-eyed man walked up to the table and bowed a large impressive bow.

“Welcome back, Monkey Wrangler!” he said.

“Ahh, Murry84!” Both men shook hands.

Murry84 sat down with the other two. Raven Image began telling Monkey Wrangler about the goings on.

“Dalixam, the owner of the SCUMM Bar, he…”

“Wait a minute,” Monkey Wrangler interrupted, “I thought the SCUMM Bar was owned by a guy named Ron?”

Raven Image rolled his eyes like he had explained this before, “Well it was taken from him by a guy named I. Cheese, then an Australian land developer took it from him, then the land developer disappeared somehow and Dalixam took it over.”

“Oh.” Monkey Wrangler had to think about that one.

“Anyway,” Raven continued, “Dalixam is putting a crew together to find the Secret Of Monkey Island.”

“Hasn’t that been attempted before?” Monkey Wrangler asked.

Murry84 cut in, “By that wimpy Guybrush guy you mean? Yeah…right. Dalixam is putting a real crew together, most of the SCUMM Bar attendants are signing up. If you want to, the signup sheets over there.”

Murry84 pointed over at a table near the blazing fire. Monkey Wrangler stood up and walked over to the table and looked at the sheet. Murry84 was right, most of everyone that was anyone had signed up for the voyage. Monkey Wrangler jotted his name down. He noticed at the top there was a small section entitled Important Looking Pirates. Under it was listed these five names: Raven Image (obviously), Haggis, Haxaty, Junaid, and Paco. There were more ILP’s since Monkey Wrangler had been here last. He began to walk back to his two friends when a hand grabbed his coat.

“Welcome back Monkey Wrangler.”

Monkey Wrangler turned. It was Oldwizard.

“I think I remember you.” She said.

“Thanks, Oldwizard.” He said and shook her small hand.

Monkey Wrangler turned back toward his table and a long sword pointed right at his face. It was Murry84. He had a slight glint in his eye of either joy or a rare insanity.

“This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!” He yelled.

Monkey Wrangler wondered what had gotten into Murry84. Then he remembered: insult sword fighting!

“And I’ve got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?”

Both men slashed their swords at each other, catching the interests of others.

“I’ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.” Monkey Wrangler remarked.

“Too bad no one’s ever heard of YOU at all!” Murry84 shot back.

They slashed swords again. Murry84 trapped Monkey Wrangler up against a table.

“You’ve got about as many brains as a fried monkey!” Murry said.

This was a new one. Monkey Wrangler had not heard it before. They must have made up a whole bunch of new ones since I was here last. He thought.

“Your Mother!” He yelled.

Murry pushed Monkey Wrangler up on top of the table crashing it to the floor. Luckily it had no grog on it, keeping Monkey Wrangler from an embarrassing death. His sword was thrown back into the crowd. Murry pointed his sword at him. Murry smiled, thinking he had won. Then another sword poked at the back of Murry’s neck.

“Die you insolent pig!” It was Raven Image; he had joined the fight.

“Uh…” Murry was clueless, Raven had caught him off guard.

They slashed swords. Once Raven came into the fight, many others did as well. Insults were being thrown at anyone who could answer them. Swords were swinging everywhere, but it was all in fun. Just as it began to quiet down, someone stepped through the doorway. A dark figure walked into the middle of it all. The man had a two day old beard and had a large black coat. It was Dalixam. Everyone hushed. He walked past the crowd and to the table with the signup sheet on it. He took the paper and reviewed it. Then he spoke.

“All who have signed up on this list,” he began, “we will all meet out at the dock where my ship is waiting. We will find the SECRET OF MONKEY ISLAND!”

He gave a large smile walked back outside. Raven, Murry, and Monkey Wrangler smiled at each other. This was the journey of a lifetime.


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