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Art | Fiction | Music | Animations | Scripts | Comics | Games | Sheet music

The Big Whoop Chronicles
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The Youth Conquest

Deep in the Caribbean,

Guybrush stood at the bow of his ship as it sailed over the Caribbean sea, cutting through the waves like butter. The wind blew at the back of his head showing it was a good day for sailing.

sharkjaw.gif (5263 bytes)
- Sharkjaw

"The sooner I find Big Whoop, the sooner I find Elaine." he said to himself, "Blackeye, how far to...Blackeye?" Guybrush turned to see that his ship was completely deserted. His First mate Blackeye wasn't at the helm, and the rest of his crew was nowhere in sight.

"Guys?" he asked nervously, "Guys? Where'd ya go?" He walked off the bow onto the deck and looked around. The wind suddenly stopped, yet the sails looked like the wind was pushing them. The air became cold and wet, causing Guybrush to tighten his blue coat around himself to keep warm. Without saying a thing, he backed off towards the hatch leading to the sub-decks. Without warning, a geyser of water shot up alongside the port side of the ship! Guybrush quickly hurried off towards the hatch to find it slammed shut, and locked.

"Let me in, guys!" Guybrush yelled, tugging at the hatch as another geyser of water shot up alongside the starboard! He ripped the handle right off the hatch and tumbled backwards into the mast. He got up to find the entire ship surrounded by geysers. He whistled a low exclamatory whistle and took a moment to look around at his surroundings.

"Now that's interesting!" Guybrush exclaimed. Then suddenly, the geysers died

down. Guybrush was really getting confused now. The ship jumped violently as it started to lift itself into the air. Guybrush hugged the mast tightly as the ship rocked back and forth, as if tottering on the tip of something! Guybrush held tight to the ladder and watched as giant fingers loomed over the ship and gripped it tightly, and the ship lowered down and Guybrush glanced up seeing the gigantic face of the dreaded pirate Sharkjaw! Sharkjaw bared his fangs in a fiendish grin and laughed. Guybrush clung to the ladder and gasped in horror.

"Guybrush Fleetwood..." Sharkjaw growled.

"THREEPWOOD!" Guybrush yelled.

"Who cares?" Sharkjaw asked, "Did you think you could kill me so easily and unfairly? Did you think my spirit would rest knowing that I had been killed because of an unjust cause, and that it should have been you who should have died???"

"I used to." Guybrush said.

"Well, Guybrush, it's your turn." Sharkjaw said, and with that, he took a sharp bite through the front of the ship, chewed it up, and spit it out in a million splinters, which went flying over the rest of the ship, missing Guybrush as he hid behind the mast. Guybrush scampered up the ladder towards the crow's nest as Sharkjaw took another bite of the ship and ripped the mast off with it. He swallowed the rest of the boat and held up the mast, where Guybrush clung to in terror. Sharkjaw opened his mouth and started taking bit by bit bites of the mast, as Guybrush scampered across the ladder towards the crow's nest. He threw himself alongside into it as Sharkjaw stopped biting at the stem of the nest.

"Nowhere to run now, Guybrush?" Sharkjaw laughed. He lifted the crow's over his head, tilted his head back, opened his mouth, and let Guybrush in the nest fall in. Guybrush as he fell towards the gaping maw and the teeth snapped shut on him.

Guybrush's eyes opened and he found himself hyperventilating. He felt around to find himself in one piece, but in the dark. A lantern was lit and Blackeye leaned over his top bunk to look down at Guybrush.

"Cap'en?" he asked, "Whatsa matter?"

"Dream." Guybrush said, "It was all a dream."

"What dream are ya talkin' 'bout?" Blackeye said, "Da one where da evil poodle is eatin' e'ryone?"

"No." Guybrush said, "Sharkjaw. Sharkjaw came back from the grave and killed me."

"He did." Blackeye said, metamorphasizing into a demon.

"Blackeye?!?" Guybrush exclaimed, stumbling out of bed.

"Welcome ta hell, cap'en." Blackeye hissed. Fire burned all around Guybrush and he fell through the floor screaming.

Guybrush's eyes opened and he found himself hyperventilating. He felt around to find himself in one piece, but in the dark. A lantern was lit and Gramma Rummy leaned over his top bunk to look down at Guybrush.

"What's wrong, dearie?" she asked, "Are you having a bad dream?"

"Yeah." Guybrush said, "First Sharkjaw came back from the dead to kill me, then I woke up and Blackeye turned into a demon and fire burned me."

"There, there." Gramma said, "Considering you're still alive, I guess we didn't burn you enough." And with that, Gramma turned into a sea snake and started strangling Guybrush.

Guybrush's eyes opened and he found himself hyperventilating. He felt around to find himself in one piece, but in the dark. A lantern was lit and Jan McDarcie leaned over the top bunk to look down at Guybrush.

"What's wrong, Guybrush?" Jan asked.

"I had this dream where I was dreaming..." Guybrush stopped talking to think about it, "Um, never mind. Listen, why don't you kill me right now and get this portion of the dream over with?"

"Ok." Jan said, transforming into a cannibal and throwing Guybrush in a boiling cauldron.

Guybrush's eyes opened and he found himself hyperventilating. He felt around to find himself in one piece, but in the dark. A lantern was lit and Fat Al Muntz leaned over the top bunk to look down at Guybrush.

"Hi, Al." Guybrush said, "Listen, I know you're about to kill me. So just do it."

"Uh, what are you talkin' about, Bob?" he asked.

"You're not going to kill me?" Guybrush asked.

"Why would I?" he asked.

"Oh, thank goodness." Guybrush said, "I'm back to reality. But am I really sure?" Suddenly, Al's bunk hammock snapped at it's ropes and Al went falling down on top of Guybrush, forcing him into the floor of the ship.

"D'uh, You still alive?" he asked.

"Um, yeah."

"Good."

"I'm back to reality."

Monkey Island: The Big Whoop Chronicles


The Youth Conquest


Written By Chris Ushko

Sharkjaw stood in the back of the line that stretched down a long corridor. A big red light laid far ahead of him at the end of the tunnel. He growled and poked the guy in front of him.

"Hey, where's this tunnel leading anyway?" Sharkjaw asked, "I've been waiting here for months!" LeChuck turned around.

"Ar, t'is a line-up to Hell." he said, "And I'll tell ya, there's one thing worse than being in Hell, and that's waiting to get in."

"I've a score to settle with someone up on the surface." Sharkjaw said, "I need ta talk to the manager of this place. Could I bud in front of you?"

"No." LeChuck said. Sharkjaw bit him on the arm. LeChuck squealed in pain and stepped aside. "Fine! Go ahead, ya lousy bilgerat!" Sharkjaw pushed his way past LeChuck and started biting other dead people waiting to get into Hell. After a half hour of biting people, he arrived at Hell's Gates, where a demon in a suit was typing up some info on his laptop. The demon waved a soul in and looked to Sharkjaw.

"Greetings, I am Jasper Wormsworth." he said, "May I have your name."

"Sharkjaw!" Sharkjaw growled, "And I wants out of here!!!"

"Well, frankly, that's everybody else's wish." Jasper said, "But I'm afraid once you're in Hell, there's no going back. Now, state how you died."

"That punitive pipsqueak, Guybrush Threepwood!" Sharkjaw growled, "He's a killed me by an unfair advantage! He tricked Satan himself into killing me instead of him!"

"Oh, you're THAT Sharkjaw." Jasper said, waiting for something to appear on his screen, "Well, just a moment. It takes a while for the ol' girl to load. Microsoft doesn't deliver to Hell. It may own it, but it doesn't deliver."

"Spare me the whines!" Sharkjaw yelled, "Send me back or I'll a tear ya a new..."

"You wouldn't be the first." Jasper said, "Oh, look. Here's your file....that's odd." Jasper looked at his screen and scratched his head.

"What's wrong?" Sharkjaw asked.

"Your life sign is still present." Jasper said, "Why, you're not dead at all! How exactly did you die, and describe it from the second our evil Prince of Darkness attacked you from his summer home up in Bermuda."

"He threw fire at me and I fell down a waterfall." Sharkjaw said.

"Then it isn't anymore clear!" Jasper said, "You survived both the fire and the fall."

"Then how did I end up here?" Sharkjaw asked.

"When you fell off the waterfall, you went crashing straight into the ground." Jasper said, "And when I say straight into, I mean straight through, why, you fell clear into Hell!"

"Then yer gonna send me back?" Sharkjaw asked.

"I don't have a choice." Jasper said, "Life forms are easily killed in there and the misery's over, as of if you're dead, the punishments last forever."

"Send me back!" Sharkjaw said, "I've a score ta settle with Guybrush Maplewood."

"That would be Threepwood." Jasper said.

"Whatever." Sharkjaw growled.

Part 1: The Whale of a Tale

'Captain's Log; Guybrush Threepwood; Fifty-seventh entry: It's been four months since our voyage to Devil's Island and our encounter with Sharkjaw. Today, we find ourselves in the same place as we were for the past fifty-three entries. On the boat, in the sea, looking for Big Whoop. No sign of it yet. It's not under my bed, not behind the door, not under the rug. Maybe I should look in the kitchen. But aside from my crew's desperate attempts to find it, there have been no leads to finding Big Whoop itself, and we haven't seen land in months, since we left Skar Island, having cashed in the golden sphere we found on Devil's Island for a nice reward of golden bars, jewelry, stocks and bonds, cash, moola, dough, all adding up to about six million pieces 'o eight. And for my weekly update on my crew: Blackeye has been fixed to that wheel for two months. We're wondering if he's still alive. Jan McDarcie, our ship's mechanic, cannon operator, and hamster feeder for this! week, has recovered from the death of her dad and is nicer than she was a few months ago. Too nice. I have to keep my mind on Elaine. Elaine. Elaine. Elaine. Elaine. Yeah, Jan's taken too much of a shine to me. Or maybe she's drunk. Anyway, Gramma Rummy is sitting around doing nothing as usual, except catching up on her reading list as usual. She's already finished 14 579 books! Our ship's chef, Fat Al Muntz, is stupid as always. My proof? I'm narrating this journal out loud and he's sitting right next to me, trying to figure out what I said. Our hamster, Fluffer, is nowhere to be seen. Aside from all this, I've been having these weird dreams lately. Mostly about people killing me. I'm wondering if these dreams have any insignificance, or if they're just a bunch of random neural transitions combining to make inexplicable sequences in my mind. In closing my entry, I leave these words of wisdom..."

Guybrush ran his pencil off the page and realized he had completely filled up his journal. He shrugged, closed up his book, and chucked it overboard. He had no use for it anymore.

"Uh, that coulda been worth something someday, Bob." Al said, scratching his belly.

"D'oh!" Guybrush said. He got off his sitting barrel and headed down to the helm, where Blackeye was staring ahead at the sea and navigating through the waves.

"Blackeye, something makes me want to ask you something." Guybrush said, "Are you alive?"

"Aye." Blackeye said, without emotion, and without blinking.

"Ok, I just need to ask because you haven't moved from that spot in months." Guybrush said. Blackeye jumped from his spot onto Guybrush, forcing himself onto the ground, and grabbing Guybrush by the collar. Blackeye was in a deep sweat and very pale.

"Cap'en!" he yelled, "We've been afloat fer months without sign of land!!! I'm a goin' insane here!!!!!!!!"

"Well, you don't need to take it out on me." Guybrush said, "Go downstairs and get yourself some hot chocolate. That'll calm you down."

"Yes, hot chocolate!" Blackeye said quickly, "Hot chocolate fer e'ryone! Hot chocolate! Yay! Chocolate Hot! Hot Chocolate! We must have chocolate!!!" He scurried down to the hatch. Guybrush picked himself off the ground and walked over to where Gramma was sitting in her lawn chair reading a Manual of Style.

"How's your life, Gramma?" Guybrush asked.

"Same as always." she said, "Stuck on a ship, drifting nowhere, miles from civilization..."

"You happy?" Guybrush asked.

"Oh, yeah." she said, "So where's my little Jan?"

"Somewhere down below." Guybrush said, "Personally, I'm trying to avoid her. She's been acting really weird around me lately. I think this loneliness at sea thing is getting to her, I mean, a few months ago she'd be afraid to go near me. Now she's getting that look in her eyes."

"It'll blow over by the next chapter." Gramma said, "Now run along and play."

"All right, see ya, later." Guybrush said, moping about his ship, "I wouldn't mind some hot chocolate myself." He headed down to the galley where he found Blackeye just chugging down a barrel of hot chocolate.

"Hey!" Guybrush exclaimed, "Save some for the rest of us!" And with that, he snatched the barrel away from Blackeye and started chugging it down.

"Give it back!" Blackeye said, yanking it out of Guybrush's hands and chugging it back down.

"All right, you rotten pirate!" Guybrush yelled, "You're asking for it!"

"Oh, what're ya goin' ta do?" Blackeye asked sarcastically, "Talk me ta death with one a yer stories?" Guybrush grabbed Blackeye by the back of his collar, opened a porthole in the side of the ship, and shoved him in through it. Blackeye went through halfway headfirst before getting stuck. He hung out of the side of the ship. Guybrush set about chugging down the hot chocolate, when he set it down, and started getting the strange look he had seen on Blackeye's face before.

"Blackeye, sorry 'bout that, man." Guybrush said, "This ship is getting to me."

"Aye." Blackeye said from the other side of the porthole, "How's about letting me out a here?"

"I mean, we've been trapped on this ship for who knows how long?" Guybrush asked, "It's starting to make me do things I wouldn't normally do." A pair of delicate hands covered Guybrush's eyes.

"I know how that feels." Jan said in a sensuous voice, "Guess who?"

"Gee, let me guess." Guybrush said, "Well, that's definitely a female voice, and these hands are too un-wrinkled to be Gramma...Jan, possibly?" Jan giggled and turned Guybrush towards her.

"How about you and me head down to the sub-deck later?" she asked, "Maybe now?" She pushed Guybrush to the kitchen counter and hopped up into his lap.

"Hey, what's going on back dere?" Blackeye asked, "Cap'en! Are you in trouble?!? Lemme outta here!"

"Jan!" Guybrush exclaimed, pushing Jan off his lap onto the floor, "Get a hold of yourself! I'm your captain!"

"And?" she asked.

"Blackeye!" Guybrush yelled, "HELP!"

"I would, cap'en." Blackeye said, "But I'm stuck back 'ere, too busy watchin' dat huge white whale coming at us."

"White whale?" Guybrush asked, "What white whale?"

"Dat dere white whale coming at our ship." Blackeye said, "Ooh! Ee's a mean one!" Guybrush raced up the hatch past Jan and to the railing where he leaned over where Blackeye was hanging out and glanced out over the horizon. Nothing.

"What are you talking about?" Guybrush asked, "There's no whale out there."

"Dere was!" Blackeye exclaimed from below, "Ee was coming right at us and dived!"

"Where is he now?" Guybrush asked.

"Underwater, ya doofus!" Blackeye said, "Dere! You can see him coming up!" Guybrush leaned over the railing and stared into the water to see it becoming whiter and whiter.

"What's he doing?" Guybrush asked.

"Ee's surfacin'!" Blackeye said, "Right unda our ship!!!" And at that second, the whale smashed through the bottom of the ship, shaking the entire ship!!! Guybrush held tight to the railing as the whale dove again. Wood floated about the water. That wood belonged to the ship. The rest of the crew came up to the railing and looked out over the waters.

"Something happened!" Gramma exclaimed, "Thank heavens! What was it?"

"A whale!" Guybrush said, "A whale's attacking us!!!"

"Holy crap!" Jan said.

"Blackeye!" Guybrush said, "I've gotta rescue Blackeye! Jan, get the rest of the crew off the ship! I have to save Blackeye!" Guybrush hopped down the hatch and rushed to the galley where Blackeye was kicking frantically to get out. Guybrush pulled on his feet, but he was stuck in there tight.

"Ee's comin' again, cap'en!" Blackeye yelled. The ship shook again and a huge seam opened up straight up the middle of the boat! Blackeye was shook loose as the boat tipped over into itself and Guybrush and Blackeye went sliding down the floor into the wall.

"We have to get out of here!!!" Guybrush yelled, dragging Blackeye after him as he climbed out of the galley and into a flood of water. It would be obvious there would be water considering a hole had been bashed open in the bottom and the ship had split in half. Guybrush hurried up the ladder in time for the whale to make a surfacing leap straight through the middle of the ship, smashing it completely in half! The whale went flying across the sky and came down in another part of the waters. Guybrush clung to the inside of the hatch with Blackeye in one hand, hanging on tight as his part of the ship started going down quickly. The rest of his crew was on the other half of his ship, hanging onto the railing as their half went down even faster! Guybrush let go of the hatch and went sliding down the flooring, straight into the mast. The excessive damage had loosened the mast, so it came off it's post on contact, and tipped completely over, landing on the other ship, creating ! a temporary bridge.

"Hurry across!" Guybrush yelled. Jan, Gramma, and Al went sliding down the flooring and hopped onto the mast, hurrying across to the other half of the ship as theirs went down. Guybrush clung tightly to a hole in the floor as Guybrush clung to his hand. Jan leapt off the mast and grabbed onto Blackeye's hand. Gramma came leaping across and grabbed a hold of Jan's. Then came Al. He came a rampaging over the mast and leapt off just as it slid off with the other half of the ship into the water. Gramma grabbed onto Fat Al's hand and clung as tight as she could. Everyone's arms strained under Al's weight as he hung over the edge of the ship which was going down quickly. Guybrush looked over at the water to see the whale coming at them again. This time, it's jaws were open, and it was hungry. It spurted several geysers of water from its blowhole and bellowed. Guybrush had a quick flashback of his dream last night.

"We 'ave company!" Blackeye exclaimed. The whale drew closer and closer. Gramma, tired of the strain of her arm, 'accidentally' let go of Al. He went plummeting down into the water, creating a huge tidal as he hit the water! Water went flying everywhere, including straight into the path of the white whale! The whale was flung back by the water displacement and went flying backwards straight into the water dazed. The ship snapped at it's bindings under the change of water pressure, and went collapsing into the water everywhere, including with the crew.

Guybrush woke up to find himself floating. The back of his head, his arms, and his legs were aloft in the water. He lifted himself to discover he had made it out of the attack of the white whale safely.

"Guys?" Guybrush asked. He found he was floating on some kind of water-proof coffin, which made a perfect buoy. He stared out at the ocean. There were no signs of life anywhere. Not even a single piece left of his ship. He was alone at sea. Filled with stress and exhaust, the sun boiled down on him, and he collapsed on the coffin.

Part 2: It's a Small World after all!

MEANWHILE, ON DEVIL'S ISLAND....

Sharkjaw climbed out of the hole he had made when he had crashed into the ground and got to his feet. He growled and stormed through the forest, focused on one thing: Guybrush Threepwood. Herman Toothrot wandered up to him.

"Howdy stranger!" Herman exclaimed, "I remember you! You were the one that didn't want to go on my tour, right? What brings you back from the dead?"

"How do get off this island?" Sharkjaw asked.

"If I knew, would I be here?" Herman asked.

"Very well." Sharkjaw said as he arrived at the beach, "At this point, I'll do anything to get back at that flooring inspector." And with that, he ran into the ocean and dove in underwater. A distance away in the fog, he resurfaced and swam off into the distance.

"Good luck!" Herman called, "Send back help!"

....Elsewhere...

Guybrush reawoke for the severalty time this story to find himself staring straight up at the sky. There was no bobbing feeling or anything, specifying that he was no longer on water, but on land.

"Land..." Guybrush moaned. He quickly found he was unable to move! He couldn't move or lift any part of his body!!! Every limb, hair, body part, had been tied down securely to the ground with small cord. Guybrush struggled and heard tiny screams all over him. One voice yelled out.

"The giant's been reawaken!" it yelled, "Run for it!" Guybrush tried desperately to at least lift his head, but the cord was too strong.

"I need something sharp..." Guybrush said, "I know! A guy came up to me on the street and told me he hadn't had a bite in days, so I bit him!" Immediately, several cords started snapping apart! Guybrush was able to lift free his head and his arms.

"It all goes to prove my wit's as sharp as any sword!" Guybrush said. He looked around to see tiny little people scurrying about in panic. "Whoa! When did I enter Munchkinland? Where's Dorothy? Where's the Wicked Witch?" He lifted himself off the sand to find himself standing on a beach next to the coffin he had floated to the island upon. A distance away, a legion of little people were advancing on him, armed with a miniature catapult and several tiny little swords.

"Ah, jeez." Guybrush grinned, "I don't think I've ever seen a cuter scene. I'd love to take them all home and put them in a cage!" They fired the catapult. A small rock hit Guybrush in the forehead and bounced off.

"Hey!" Guybrush said, "Watch it! You're going to put out somebody's eyes!" Several tiny people were attacking his boots with their swords and some were clinging to his pant legs. Guybrush shook them off and stepped off the beach into the forest.

Guybrush entered the small village. As he walked through the narrow streets, tiny people went screaming in horror. He lifted open a roof of a house, reached inside, and plucked a chicken leg off a roast chicken in the kitchen. He sucked it clean and tossed away the bone.

"Hey, great chicken!" Guybrush said, "My compliments to the chef." The people inside screamed. Guybrush replaced the roof and continued his march through the town. People screamed from below.

"It's Guyzilla!" someone yelled, "Run for it!" Guybrush stepped right up to a guy with a video camera, just missing him, and stepped right over him. The guy was terrified beyond belief. Guybrush spotted a tall building.

"I have a strange inexplicable urge to climb this thing." Guybrush said. He placed a foot in a windows sill and grabbed onto a few more, then climbed up to the top floor of the building. He glanced inside to see an attraction young woman sitting on a bed.

"And now I have an inexplicable urge to kidnap her!" Guybrush said. He reached in and grabbed the girl. She screamed as he carried her out the window and continued to climb the building. He arrived the roof, girl in hand, and sat on top. Birds circled over head, firing white pellets down at Guybrush!

"Hey, you stupid birds!" Guybrush yelled, "Not on my new coat!" He swatted away the birds and looked at the girl in his hand. She was all frightened and terrified, but then again, who wouldn't be if a giant picked them up?

"Please don't eat me!" she cried.

"Eat you?" Guybrush asked, "And resort to cannibalism? Geez! That's disgusting!"

"Then why'd you pick me up?" the girl asked.

"Beats me." Guybrush said, "Where the heck am I? What island is this?"

"You're on Paradise Island." the girl said, "Who are you, and where did you come from mighty giant?"

"Me?" Guybrush asked, "I'm Guybrush Threepwood and I'm a mighty pirate. Not a giant. I was lost at sea and my crew all disappeared. You wouldn't happened to have seen them, have you? About, well, as big as me?"

"Sorry." the girl said, "I haven't seen any giants around until now."

"Oh, well." Guybrush said, "I'm sure they'll pop up eventually, dead or alive. Got any place I can stay at while in town?"

"Well, there's the Dawn Light Inn." the girl said, "Just down the road."

"Thanks, girlie." Guybrush said, tossing her away and hopping off the roof. He came crashing down in the street feet first and caused the pavement to crack into pieces. He stomped down the street again, people running in terror and opened a roof on a house.

"Is this the Dawn Light Inn?" Guybrush asked the people inside. They screamed. Suddenly, a series of little rocks went flying into the side of Guybrush's head. The rocks went crashing down into the street. Guybrush dropped the roof and looked over to his side to see the island's entire army coming up the road, armed with catapults, arrows, and other deadly objects.

"There he is, men!" the captain of the army yelled, "Bring down the giant if it's the last thing you do!" And they fired more rocks and arrows at Guybrush. The arrows poked Guybrush in the head like thorns.

"Yeow!" Guybrush said, "Quit it! Leave me alone!" Guybrush raced down off down the street with the army in pursuit. He rushed down the beach a the army continued to fire their weapons.

"We've got 'em on the run!" someone yelled, "Chase him back in the water!!!" Guybrush hurried back to where he had washed up next to the coffin and tripped over a tripline placed there by the army people. His face quickly met sand and ropes were being thrown all over him as he struggled to get back up. He lifted his head to look ahead to see the soldiers all standing next to the coffin, with a catapult armed with a flaming stone.

"Let's see if he's fireproof!" someone yelled. Guybrush gasped in horror and the catapult was ready to be fired. The door of the coffin burst open, and came crashing down on the army, extinguishing the flame. Blackeye popped out of the coffin gasping for air.

"Argh! Ye canna breath in dere, cap'en!" he said.

"Ah, good. Blackeye." Guybrush said, "I figured you'd pop up sooner or later. Where's the rest of the crew?"

"In here with me." he said. Jan, Gramma, and Al all reappeared from the coffin.

"How did you all fit in there?" Guybrush asked.

"It wasn't easy." Jan said, "Al took up a lot of room, and we had to ration the available air. We didn't you could make it in time. Good to see you alive. By the way, these current events made me come to my senses. I think you're a despicable moron again, Guybrush."

"Ah, everything's back to normal." Gramma said, "Where are we?"

"Paradise Island." Guybrush said, "A quaint little island. Untie me and we'll go talk things over a small cup of coffee at the Dawn Light Inn."

"Mmmm. Coffee." Al said.

A while later, the crew got settled down in town, and while people were still yelling and screaming on the streets, there wasn't anymore army to hunt Guybrush down. Guybrush reached into a window and grabbed another piece of chicken, then ate it. He sat back down on a roof with his friends. Gramma was reading a book in which the print on the cover was too small to see.

"This is a nice little town." Jan said, "Cramped, but nice."

"Aye." Blackeye said, "So where do we go from here?"

"I've been asking around." Guybrush said, "No one knows anything about Big Whoop. I suggest we just get some maps, build a new boat, and get out of here."

"I call dibs on cutting down the forest for wood!" Jan said.

"No!" Blackeye said, "Me!" Jan and Blackeye went smashing through the town, heading for the forest so that they could cut down some wood to build a boat. Al waddled after them. Gramma leaned against city hall and continued reading.

"I guess I'll just explore or something for a bit." Guybrush, getting off his roof and back onto the roof. He rampaged through the town and came to the end of the street. He stepped over a few hills and stopped at a beach.

"Geez, the problem with being big is that there's not much of an area to explore." Guybrush said to himself, "A few steps and you're there. It's like being locked in that cannibal hut." Guybrush sat down on the beach and glanced into the water. He poked in his finger and spun it around, swirling the water and creating ripples.

"This is fun." Guybrush said sarcastically, looking deep within the water and saw a mystical image popped in his head of an angry fanged man with a mustache and beard and a sword just swinging at him. Guybrush jumped at the thought.

"Geez, Sharkjaw's even giving me daymares." Guybrush said. He looked in the water again. The vision was still there. It looked too real. Guybrush got to his feet and backed away as bubbles rose to the surface.

"Holy crow!" Guybrush exclaimed, "What is that???" The water erupted and Sharkjaw came bursting out of the water and collapsed on the beach, completely out of breath. Guybrush jumped back even further and tripped over a hill. Sharkjaw lifted his head, still gasping for air, and stared at Guybrush.

"You!" he exclaimed, struggling to get to his feet (one peg leg).

"But I killed..."

"You didn't kill anyone, I survived the fall!" Sharkjaw yelled, still trying to catch his breath, "You! You tricked the devil into defeating me! It should have been you who should have died up there!" He managed to get to his footing, and he swung his sword about, missing Guybrush. Guybrush got to his feet, but was pushed down again as Sharkjaw kicked him. Guybrush spun around onto his back to look up at the tip of Sharkjaw's sword-hand.

"Ye won't be getting away that easy." Sharkjaw said, "It ends here, Guybrush Threepwood. Now, any last words?"

"Yeah." Guybrush said, then gasped, "LOOK BEHIND YOU! A THREE-HEADED MONKEY!" Sharkjaw spun around in shock, only to see water. Sharkjaw turned back to Guybrush.

"No there..." He said, then realizing Guybrush wasn't even there anymore. Guybrush was already on his hurry back to town.

"You can run, Threepwood, but you can't hide!" Sharkjaw yelled, going after Guybrush. Guybrush stormed through the streets again, smashing everything in the way, as people continued to run and scream, like they did when they started an hour ago.

"Out of the way, people!" Guybrush yelled, "Giant pirate coming through! Outta the way!" Guybrush over a building. "Sorry! My fault!"

"Come back here, ya yellow-belly!" Sharkjaw yelled, knocking over buildings and chopping up buildings with his sword. Guybrush hurried through the streets and came up to Gramma, who was still reading.

"Gramma!" Guybrush exclaimed, "Sharkjaw's back from the dead, he's wants to kill me and, uh...I forgot the third thing."

"Sure, dearie." Gramma said, "Run along and play." Guybrush rushed off as Sharkjaw came through the streets at Guybrush. Guybrush stopped and ducked as Sharkjaw caught up to him. Sharkjaw tripped over Guybrush unexpectedly and went flying across the town, crashing into the side of a building. He got up, with the building stuck on his head, and pulled it off. He and Guybrush stood at opposite ends of the street.

"BLACKEYE! JAN!" Guybrush yelled, "al?"

"You little moron." Sharkjaw said, "We finish it now." He advanced on Guybrush slashing from every side with his sword, hacking away at buildings and drawing closer to Guybrush. Guybrush slowly started backing away. Sharkjaw drew closer and closer, chopping away parts of the town, and getting closer to Guybrush. A quick swing barely missed Guybrush, and Guybrush ducked as another came at him. Guybrush quickly ripped an apartment building out of the ground and smashing it across Sharkjaw's face, shattering it into bricks. Guybrush backed off and looked Sharkjaw. He was no longer swinging his sword, and his face looked stoned. He stood for a moment, then toppled over backwards onto the street. Guybrush dropped the apartment building a wiped his brow as the rest of his crew came smashing into town.

"He heard you screaming." Jan said, "Where's the problem?"

"Down there." Guybrush said, "Sharkjaw."

"Hey, ya killed 'I'm!" Blackeye said.

"Yeah." Guybrush said, "It seems like our problems have settled earlier than we thought. The bad guy's been defeated!"

"Hmmm..." Jan hummed, "So soon? This seems to be too easy. How did he find us?"

"I never got the chance to ask." Guybrush said. They stared down as Sharkjaw disappeared in a blast of light.

"Didja see dat?!?" Blackeye asked, "Where'd 'ee go???" A cannon roared from the other side of the island. Everyone jumped in shock as a cannonball smashed straight into the other side of town.

"What was that?" Guybrush asked, "Are we under attack already?"

"First a whale, now Sharkjaw, now this." Jan said, "Come on, Gramma! We're going!" Gramma hopped off her roof seat and followed the crew out of town as they hurried to the beach. As they arrived, they saw a huge ship off the coast, cannons firing into the island.

"Who the heck is that?" Guybrush asked. The crew were all loading themselves into rowboats and heading off towards the island.

"I think we'd better hide." Jan said. A voice bubbled out from the waters.

"You can run, but you can't hide." it said. Sharkjaw leapt out of the water at them! The crew hurried off Sharkjaw came after them! They hurried through the island, cannonballs flying everywhere. A cannonball, just missing the crew, hit Sharkjaw in the side, causing him to tumble down a hill and disappear in a flash of light.

"Another Sharkjaw?" Guybrush asked, "What's going on here?" Jan was staring out at the ship that had just finished firing it's cannons. The entire crew was headed towards the island.

"'Ow many more Sharkjaws are dere?" Blackeye asked.

"How about a whole crew of them?" Jan asked. Guybrush looked out at the rowboat, which were all filled with Sharkjaws.

"They're all Sharkjaws!" Guybrush said, "What's going on here?"

"I dinna, cap'en!" Blackeye said, "But I wanna get outta here before dey get ashore."

"Good idea." Guybrush said, "RUN FOR IT!" The entire crew hurried across the island and quickly came upon another beach.

"This island is too small to hide on." Jan said, "Any ideas, Gramma?"

"Sorry." Gramma said. On the other side of the island, the boats came ashore and a bunch of Sharkjaws stormed onto the island yelling about Guybrush.

"Yer dead, Guybrush!"

"It's the end of the line for ya, Meepbud!"

"You mean Threepwood."

"DIE GUYBRUSH DIE!"

"Well, they only seem to be after me." Guybrush said, "Jan, see about sneaking the crew around the island and hijack one of the rowboats and get to the ship. I'll lead them the other direction all by myself, fearlessly standing in the face of danger, all in the name to save my friends!!!"

"Ok, then." Jan said.

"That's right!" Guybrush said, "All by lonesome! To become a hero!"

"Aye, cap'en." Blackeye said, "Let's go." The crew ran off down the side of the island. Guybrush frowned.

"You'd think they'd want to help or something." Guybrush said. Over the hill, the Sharkjaw arose, all yelling and growling. Guybrush screamed and ran in the only direction he didn't see Sharkjaw: the ocean. He quickly dove in the shallow end, fought off a lobster and a crab, and started swimming like crazy away from the island. Every Sharkjaw on the island began to follow by diving in after him. Guybrush kept swimming, keeping his hopes up, but as he looked behind him, he saw the army of Sharkjaws gaining in on him, using their swords as paddles to move faster. Just as they were about to catch up on Guybrush, Guybrush took a huge breath of air, and dove underwater. The legion of Sharkjaws dove in under after him.

Having only ten minutes of breathing time, Guybrush had to make the most of his time. He kept swimming deeper and deeper, the pressure pressing against his chest. He glanced behind him to see all the Sharkjaws swimming in behind him at an alarming pace. The bottom wasn't very far. Guybrush suddenly noticed debris. His ship! Swimming towards his ship, he looked around for something that would be an ideal weapon. He dug through the pieces of sunken wood and metal. A sword swung down past his face! Guybrush freaked out and shot away from that spot. He swam off and looked back to see a Sharkjaw swimming back up to the surface. These guys couldn't hold their breath forever he found, but that particular one did have enough time to attack. Guybrush needed a weapon. Digging through more debris, he came upon a cannon. It would be of no use underwater. He suddenly noticed a sunken chest. Swimming away from another Sharkjaw, he grabbed a piece of railing and used it to pry open the c! chest. It burst open and inside were some of Blackeye's things...including a sword. Snatching the sword, he whipped around to come face to face with Sharkjaw (another one). Fending off an attack with his sword, Guybrush swung at Sharkjaw again, and cut clean right through him. Sharkjaw disappeared in a blinding light as the sword sliced through him, and no trace of him was left. Guybrush had to return to the surface, but several Sharkjaws were awaiting him. The water behind him caused a sudden current. Guybrush swam out of the way as two more Sharkjaws came after him. Guybrush swung his sword about, trying to hit any of them. Swimming around, he came up from behind and stabbed one in the back, causing to disappear in light. The other turned and fended off the attack. Guybrush kept swinging, parrying, and thrusting, in a violent underwater ballet. He quickly wrapped his sword around Sharkjaw's blade-hand and threw him for a loop. While dazed, Sharkjaw was cut through with Guybr! ush's sword, and disappeared. Having kept track of the time, Guybrush realized he only had a couple of minutes left. The Sharkjaws above were waiting for him to drown. There was another water current, bigger than before. Guybrush turned to see, not any Sharkjaws, but a huge white figure looming towards him. The White Whale. This would be his only chance. Guybrush sprang towards the surface, into the whale's path. Guybrush waved his arms hoping to get the whale's attention. The whale opened it's mouth. Guybrush decided that the whale had seen him. Frantically flapping his arms, Guybrush scurried to the surface as the whale headed towards him. The whale gained ground on him, until Guybrush felt his boot on the nose of the whale. Falling back on the nose, Guybrush held tight as the whale went smashing through the surface of the water, straight through the Sharkjaws!

"YEE-HAW!" Guybrush yelled as everyone went flying everywhere! Guybrush went rolling onto the back as the whale slapped down on the water. Dazed, Guybrush looked around at Sharkjaws floating in the water, some disappearing, others still alive. Guybrush looked to the side to see the ship coming around the island. The whale changed it's course of direction and started towards the ship.

"NO!" Guybrush yelled, "AWAY FROM THE SHIP! AWAY FROM THE SHIP!" He looked up at the ship, in which the whale was coming closer and closer to. His crew was onboard, fighting off a few Sharkjaws and not even noticing the whale. Guybrush raced down the back of the whale, and jammed his boot down in its blowhole. The whale screeched in pain and stopped it's attack, trying to shake off Guybrush. Guybrush leaned over the whale and looked down at it's eye, which glanced up.

"Go away." Guybrush said, "Go bother someone annoying like my, uh, my old cranky next-door-neighbor Ahab or something. Just go away." The whale nodded, waiting for Guybrush to get his boot out of it's blowhole. Guybrush lifted his boot and the whale turned and sped off, causing Guybrush to tumble off it's back into the water as the ship came by. Guybrush grabbed onto some ropes hanging off the side and climbed up as the crew was fighting off the last of the Sharkjaws. Jan stabbed through the last two and they disappeared in a flash of light.

"Cap'en!" Blackeye said, "Ya made it!"

"Yay, Bob!" Al said.

"My name's Guybrush, not Bob." Guybrush said.

"Ok, Bob." Al said.

"This is too weird." Jan said, "We had enough trouble with one Sharkjaw, but these ones are all over. Where are they coming from?"

"I don't know, but let's sail out of here before any more return." Guybrush said, "Everyone here? Jan? Blackeye? Al? Gramma? Fluffer? Where's Fluffer?"

"Ee got sick of us 'n left." Blackeye said.

"Oh, well." Guybrush said, "Raise the sails, we're hauling our butts out of here!"

"The sails are already raised." Jan said.

"Oh." Guybrush replied.

"So where are we going?" Gramma asked, settling down to read.

"Wherever the wind takes us." Guybrush said.

"Like that little traveling boat going right in our path?" Jan asked.

"Exactly like that." Guybrush said. The two boats made contact! The little boat went spinning around in circles as the boat knocked it away. Everyone fell to their butts on the ship and Guybrush made his way over to the port where the little boat was off to. A sign on the side of the boat read "Malwobbly's Traveling Voodoo Emporium".

"Blackeye, take the com." Guybrush said, "I've got someone I want to meet."

Guybrush made his way to the house boat and knocked on the door. It opened. Inside was the thin blind voodoo woman he had first met on Keelhaul Island a few months ago. She sat before a fire and chanted a little ditty.

"Malwobbly?" Guybrush asked.

"It is I, Mister Threepwood." she answered, "I know why you are here."

"Yeah, sorry for hitting your boat." Guybrush said, "It kinda 'jumped' out in front of us."

"That's Ok." Malwobbly said, "How are you doing in your quest for Big Whoop? Have you found Elaine yet?"

"Nope. Not yet." Guybrush said, "I don't even know where to look for Big Whoop. But I have a bigger problem at hand."

"Which is?" she asked, "No, wait...I'm seeing...I'm seeing...Oh, crap."

"Yup." Guybrush replied, "Where the heck are all these Sharkjaws coming from?"

"Oh, my gosh." Malwobbly said, "Are they after you and your crew?"

"Yes." Guybrush said.

"This is all my fault." Malwobbly said, "I hadn't foreseen this unfortunately, when I sold my best Voodoo Revenge spell to Sharkjaw."

"Voodoo Revenge spell?" Guybrush asked, "What is that?"

"Sharkjaw bought a special spell from me." Malwobbly said, "It was to insure that if he were ever defeated in a great battle, that he would be able to get revenge even if he didn't make it out alive."

"So I killed the real Sharkjaw." Guybrush said, "These guys are voodoo clones out for revenge?"

"I am afraid so." Malwobbly said, "They are easily destroyed, but will not stop coming after you until the spell's been aborted. Only one hundred can be manifested at a time, but when one dies, another comes to life in the area where the victim."

"How do I abort the spell?" Guybrush asked, "The lives of me and my crew are also at stake!"

"You must defeat the real Sharkjaw once more." Malwobbly said.

"But he's dead." Guybrush said, "The devil killed him."

"If so, you must hope that he resurrects from the dead so that you may defeat him." Malwobbly said, "Or you may consider the alternative."

"Alternative?" Guybrush asked, "What alternative?"

"A great mystical water that will dissolve all voodoo traces." Malwobbly explained, "Once a voodoo object comes in contact with the water, all other traces of the spell will go with it, and abort the spell all together."

"So I get this magic water, pour it on one of these duplicates," Guybrush said, "and the rest go with it? No more Sharkjaws? Great! I'll take it! How much is it?" As Guybrush reached into his wallet, Malwobbly stopped him.

"I do not have any in reverse." she said, "I've never found the water itself. It is contained in a legendary fountain. The Fountain of Youth."

"Fountain of Youth?!?" Guybrush asked, "The one which grants you infinite youth?"

"None other." Malwobbly said, "Though the power of this fountain cannot be underestimated. People believe that drinking from it grants you eternal life. It only removes years from your life. One does not require to consume to absorb it's power, for all it takes is a single touch, and from your present age, the water would only make you younger than you are now, and could possibly put you in a weaker condition than you are now."

"Yeah, yeah, warnings, warnings..." Guybrush mumbled, "Where is it? Before any more Sharkjaws come after us!"

"I do not know." Malwobbly said, "Very sorry."

"Well, shoot." Guybrush said, "Hey, aren't you psychic or something? You should know all the answers!"

"I am not as experienced as my cousin on Melee Island..." she said, "...No...Scabb Island. My cousin is now on Scabb Island. Hmmm...she may be able to lead you to Big Whoop. But you'll never make it to Scabb Island unless Sharkjaw's Spell has been suppressed."

"And to suppress it, I have to find the Fountain of Youth." Guybrush said, "Right, right, I've heard all that. Listen: Does anybody else know where the Fountain is?"

"Perhaps." Malwobbly said, "He's a seedy character. Occasionally traveling among the island selling manufactured maps and other swindles. He has a map for every treasure known and can possibly have the one leading you to the Fountain itself."

"Where is he now?" Guybrush asked.

"I see him on Huuk Island." Malwobbly said, not even making an effort to perform any voodoo chanting, "Huuk Island. I know not his name. But he has the map. You have the coordinates for Huuk Island on your ship, in the charts."

"Hey!" Guybrush exclaimed, "This is great! So, I guess I've got to be on my way! When do you think I'll see you again?"

"Never." Malwobbly said, "Your quest for Big Whoop must continue without me."

"So, I find Big Whoop, I find Elaine still?" asked Guybrush.

"On your way, yes." Malwobbly said, "But, you must defeat Sharkjaw's spell first. As a matter of a fact, I sense you have trouble right now."

"CAP'EN!" Blackeye yelled from outside, "WE'S A GOT TROUBLE!!!"

"Told you." Malwobbly said. The door of the house boat burst open and Sharkjaw burst in. Malwobbly jumped to her feet, leapt over the fire, and did a flying jump kick into Sharkjaw knocking him out of the boat. More started coming in through the windows! Guybrush dove for cover under a couch as Malwobbly attacked each Sharkjaw one by one, throwing/kicking them back out the windows, all while yelling nonsense. When all the Sharkjaws were gone, Malwobbly sat back down and Guybrush climbed out from under the couch.

"I though you were blind!" Guybrush exclaimed.

"So I'm playing the blind-man." Malwobbly said, "So what? It gains people's sympathy."

"I wasn't sympathetic." Guybrush said, "But this is just pathetic."

"Go away, Threepwood, yer botherin' me." Malwobbly said. Guybrush shrugged and headed out the door. He climbed back onto his ship and quickly fought off Sharkjaw who ambushed him, throwing Sharkjaw overboard. Al smashed two Sharkjaws together and hurled them overboard.

"D'uh, ya gotta do something, Bob!" Al said. Jan and Blackeye came by, carrying a Sharkjaw, and hurled him overboard.

"Don't kill any of them!" Guybrush said, "Make sure they stay alive and see if we can get them all trapped in the same place, otherwise more will appear!" Guybrush ducked and a Sharkjaw came running up from behind, tripping over him and landing in the water. Gramma was up in the crow's nest, counting all the Sharkjaws.

"Ninety-nine in the water!!!" she yelled. Jan threw another overboard.

"One hundred." She said, "How much is there?"

"A hundred of them." Guybrush said, "Blackeye, take us out of here!!!" The ship changed it's course away from the Sharkjaws who were splashing around in the water. Soon enough, the ship had made it away from the group of them.

"What are they?" Jan asked.

"Sharkjaw's Revenge." Guybrush said, "Blackeye, take us on a course to Huuk Island."

Part 3: Guybrush Versus The Volcano

Sharkjaw crawled out of the sea and up onto a dock. He ringed out his beard and shook his clothes of water. Nighttime had fallen and he had been swimming all day. He hobbled along the dock to a building nearby called the Scumm Bar. Pushing his way through the door and through a few people he sat down next an odd man with a phony beard and a patch marked: "Ask me about LOOM." The bar was loaded with occupants all chattering away, the chandelier, having already crashed down in the middle of the room due to over-use by drunken pirates. The cook came by to check on things carrying a tray full of mugs of grog. Sharkjaw grabbed a mug, the cook not even noticing, took a sip, and spoke to the odd man.

"Ahoy, there." Sharkjaw said.

"Aye." The man answered.

"I'm looking for a pirate." Sharkjaw said, "One by the name of Guybrush Threepwood. Have you seen him anywhere, ever?"

"Aye." the man answered.

"Where?" Sharkjaw asked, putting a bag of pieces 'o eight on the table.

"Aye." the man answered. Sharkjaw took back his bag and left the table. The man seemed confused. He checked his path to make sure the words were written "LOOM" and not "Guybrush Threepwood." Sharkjaw checked around the bar and ran into a little dog sitting nearby, with a tag marked "Spiffy."

"Ar, ye ugly little mutt." Sharkjaw said, "Get's outta the way!"

"Woof!" Spiffy exclaimed, "A-roof-roof? Sharkjaw! Woof! Bark!"

"Aye, that's me." Sharkjaw said, "Ya wouldn't happen to have met a pirate around, he looks like a flooring inspector."

"Bow-wow!" Spiffy said, "Woof Guybrush Fleetgrud?"

"Threepwood." Sharkjaw corrected Spiffy.

"Woof!" Spiffy said, "Aroo-roo Elaine Marley woof bark LeChuck a-roof-roo woof. Woof bark woof aroo grrrrr Monkey Island, woof bark-bark murrrrr woof-woof-woof-(sniff), woof bark bow-wow."

"Where is he now?" Sharkjaw asked.

"Bark-bark," Spiffy explained, "Aroof- Keelhaul Island bow-wow Skar Island, woof bark mu Sharkjaw, morroo Devil's Island."

"Yes, yes, I know all that." Sharkjaw said, "Where is he now?!?"

"Bark." Spiffy said.

"Yer a clever mutt." Sharkjaw said, passing him a bag of coins, "Now where is he?"

"Woof-ruff-woof, White Whale." Spiffy said, "Morroo Paradise Island, woof-woof Sharkjaw, woof-woof-bark, Huuk Island."

"Ah, yes." Sharkjaw said, "But why are they going there?"

"Woof-woof." Spiffy said.

"I see." Sharkjaw said, "Well, when the seagull tells you, be sure to tell me. Is there any place here where I can purchase a seacraft?"

"Woof, Stan's Previously-Owned Vessels...aroooooooooooWOOF!" Spiffy exclaimed.

"Crap." Sharkjaw said, "I guess I'll be swimming some more. See ya around, Spiffy."

"Ruff." Spiffy said.

MEANWHILE, BACK ON FLYBUSH'S...I MEAN GUYBRUSH'S SHIP...

"Huuk Island is an isolated island." Jan said, checking through one of her several island guides, and reading it under the light of a lantern, "Very little population, due to possible malaria and many vicious creatures that were brought to the island for an experiment from Africa, but the experiment was a failure so several animals were left there. The only colony on the island is based on the east side of the island, the town of Dracus, which is where this character of yours is, Guybrush. The island itself used to be a popular tourist attraction, until the arrival of a particular new species on the island, what of which, is classified. Visitors on this island are advised to have their shots first before entering the jungle area."

"Everyone have their shots?" Guybrush asked.

"Al has his monthly." Gramma said, reading through one of Jan's other guides.

"I thought we were only going to go into the town." Jan said.

"Uh, yeah." Guybrush said, "Anything else of particular danger on this island?"

"Yeah." Jan said, "Ocelots and hyenas are very native to this island, but because of certain climatically changes in the region, they are daytime hunters on this island. But if wakened, they are very dangerous. I would be too if someone woke me up in the middle of the night. There is also a local superstition of the island's own legendary treasure, the Dragon's Heart, though people who go after it have never came back."

"That's all right, we're after bigger fish." Guybrush said.

"Comin' up on Huuk Island." Blackeye called out.

"Great!" Guybrush called, "How far?"

"Three feet!" Blackeye called. The ship hit sand everyone went tumbling towards the front of the ship! Guybrush went flying over the rail and crashed into the sand below as the ship came to rest on the beach. A rope was thrown down and Jan, Al, and Blackeye came repelling down onto the sand. Guybrush got up and shook the sand out of his ears.

"Blackeye," Guybrush said, "I'm willing to bet one of your descendants will be the one who spots the iceberg that the Titanic hits."

"Aye." Blackeye said.

"So where on the island are we?" Jan asked, lighting a lantern to light up the night.

"Just follow the shoreline." Guybrush said, "We should eventually find the town."

"But the shoreline is blocked off by a wall of rocks on each side of us." Jan said.

"So we'll go through the jungle." Guybrush said.

"You said we weren't going through the jungle, Bob." Al said.

"So we'll swim around." Guybrush said.

"And git pulled under by da undertow?" Blackeye asked.

"Argh!" Guybrush said, "Listen, let's just go through the jungle. It'll be fast."

"Um, ok." Jan said, "You're the boss."

"You gonna be ok while we're gone?" Guybrush called up to Gramma.

"I'll be fine." Gramma said.

"Come on, gang!" Guybrush said, marching into the jungle. He took the lantern from Jan and lead the way through the thick underbrush. There were noises from all around and Guybrush sunk down in fright, trying to keep his head up as he went. Al waddled along in the back, and took a fond interest to the trees. He stopped to inspect the trees for a moment. He stuck a finger in a hole in the tree, pulled it out and sucked on his finger.

"Al, dinna do dat!" Blackeye moaned, "Ya don't know where it's a been!"

"Mmmm...." Al said, "Donuts."

"What is he talking about?" Guybrush asked.

"He's always looking for trees supporting the sap necessary for his secret donut recipe." Jan said, "Ignore him."

"No time for donuts now, Al." Guybrush said, "We have to find that man."

"Ok, Bob." Al said.

"Guybrush!" Guybrush exclaimed, "My name is Guybrush; Guybrush Threepwood!!!"

"Whatever you say, Bob." Al said. Guybrush shrugged and continued through the jungle until he came to a stone wall. Going around the wall, he found it was part of a building. They had entered the town of Dracus.

"Here we are, guys." Guybrush said, "Split up among yourselves and find that man. He's a seedy-looking character."

"So's everyone else in town." Jan said. They glanced around to see very few people, but the people were very seedy-looking. Guybrush walked up to a drunk laying on his back.

"Hey, do you sell maps?" Guybrush asked.

"Whaddaya, a nut...? Get ouddahere..." he muttered. Jan, Al, and Blackeye all headed in different directions in search of things. Guybrush tried the local tavern. It in itself was seedy, but very few people could be seen within, though probably because of the cigar smoke which was covering most of everything in there. Guybrush sat down on a stool at the bar and spoke to the bartender.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for someone." Guybrush said.

"On Huuk Island?" he asked, "Ya nuts? There's very little people on this island. You probably saw them all already, even if you've been here a minute or two. I'm telling ya, the Dragon's Heart is the only thing keeping this island in business. And once it's found, no one else is gonna come to the island, and I'm out of a job. If no new attraction comes around, Huuk Island will just be another desert island covered in hostile wildlife."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't help." Guybrush said, "I'm looking for a man who sells maps."

"You mean the seedy-looking character over there?" the bartender asked. Guybrush looked behind him to see a man in a trenchcoat at a table having a smoke. He was the exact same man Guybrush had met on Melee Island a long time ago, who had sold him the map to the Legendary Lost Treasure of Melee Island. Guybrush got up and went over to sit with him.

"Hey, you're the guy from Melee Island aren't you?" Guybrush asked, "I brought one of your only maps to the Legendary Lost Treasure of Melee Island!"

"Listen, no refunds." the guy said, "I think I remember you. You're guy with the barber named Dominique, right?"

"That's me!" Guybrush said, "Now I understand you have a map to the Fountain of Youth?"

"Maybe." the guy said, "How much you have on you?"

"A lot." Guybrush said, "Now do you have it or not?"

"Well, it is the only copy ever made, unlike my other maps." he said, "I sell it and that's the last of them. This particular item is the most expensive of my collective hash." He unrolled a map and showed it to Guybrush, quickly rerolling it.

"I'll take it!" Guybrush said.

"Great." the man said, "Ten million pieces 'o eight and it's yours."

"Ten million?!?" Guybrush exclaimed, "Um, would you settle for a million?

"No."

"Two million?"

"Listen, kid, do you got ten million or don't ya?" he asked.

"Well, no." Guybrush said, "Would you accept a trade-in?"

"Only one item." he said, "Every pirate that comes to this island comes looking for it. It's worth more than ten million and I'll gladly accept it."

"The Dragon's Heart?" Guybrush asked, "Geez, I'm a pirate! I'll just take the map from you!"

"Do you know where I hid it?" the man asked.

"No." Guybrush said.

"Bingo." he said, "Find me the Dragon's Heart, and the map to the Fountain is all yours."

"Well, where do I look?" Guybrush asked.

"A trio of pirates headed out looking for it an hour ago." he said, "They were headed for the center of the island, the place with the mountain." Suddenly, the door burst open and three men of lower moral fiber (pirates) came stumbled through the door, half-singed and barely standing.

"Is that them?" Guybrush asked.

"Yeah." the man replied, "The strange part is that they made it back alive." As the guys took their seats at the bar, Guybrush headed over to them and sat with them.

"Hi, guys." Guybrush said.

"Do we know you?" the leader asked.

"I tried to kill your rat on Skar Island." Guybrush said.

"What...oh. You." the leader said, "What do you want from us now?"

"I need to get the Dragon's Heart." Guybrush said, "Can you tell me where to find it?"

"Ha!" the guy with the charred rat on his shoulder said, "Good luck!"

"Ya want the Heart, ya gotta kill the dragon first." the leader said.

"What dragon?" the bartender asked, "No one ever said there was a dragon up there! Then again, no one ever came back alive before. What'd you see?"

"Yeah!" Guybrush said, "Fill us in!"

"Well, there was this cave on the mountain, shaped like a dragon's mouth." the leader explained, "And we went inside. Then we saw the Dragon's Heart. Then we saw the dragon. Then the dragon blew fire on us. Then we ran. Then we came in here. Then you wanted to know what happened. So we told you that there was this cave..."

"All right!" Guybrush exclaimed, "That's enough! You said there was a dragon inside? What did it look like?"

"Don't let his size fool ya." rat boy said, "One blast of his breath almost fried us. If you want the Dragon's Heart, ya gotta kill the dragon first."

"Well, all right." Guybrush said as the three of them started taking a drink of grog, "I'm going out to kill the dragon." All three pirates spit out the grog on the counter in surprise. The counter started melting away.

"Are ya nuts?" the leader asked.

"Well, I was going out anyway." Guybrush said.

"Oh, Ok." rat boy said, "Now get out of here and don't touch my rat."

"Your rat's dead." Guybrush said.

"Only in your eyes." rat boy said as Guybrush headed out the door, "But he will rise again!"

Guybrush ran into Jan and Blackeye outside.

"Any luck?" Jan asked.

"I found him." Guybrush said, "But the price of the map is too costly for us at the moment."

"But we're millionaires!" Blackeye exclaimed.

"Exactly." Guybrush said, "There's only one thing he wants for it. The Dragon's Heart."

"What is the Dragon's Heart anyway?" Jan asked.

"I never bothered asking," Guybrush said, "but I'm heading up to the mountain to find it. You guys want to come with me?"

"Why not?" Jan asked.

"Fine with me." Blackeye said.

"Where's Fat Al?" Guybrush asked.

"Beats the heck out of me." Jan said, "He just ran off for something."

"He'll be fine." Guybrush said, "Let's go, gang."

The three of them headed back into the jungle, their destination was the center of the island. Guybrush kept his sword ready in case of trouble, Jan held the lantern high, and Blackeye walked behind. They entered a darker part of the jungle than they were in before, keeping an eye out for carnivores and such.

"Maybe we should come during da day?" Blackeye asked nervously.

"No such luck." Jan said, "On this island, that's the carnivores' natural hunting time. Something having to do with evolution."

"And stay quiet." Guybrush said, "We don't want to wake them."

"Hey, cap'en?" Blackeye asked, "What about all dem Sharkjaws? Won't dey be comin' soon?"

"Don't worry too soon." Guybrush said, "They're probably still swimming around in the waters, headed for us, but we have a far enough headstart. I don't think they'll be here until at least dawn, but hopefully, we'll be long gone by then."

A sword hacked into the tree in front of Guybrush. The tree came loose and split over revealing Sharkjaw behind it.

"They're like the bad itch you just can't scratch." Jan said, "Dawn, huh?"

"Or midnight, whatever comes first, these guys are fast swimmers." Guybrush said, ducking as Sharkjaw swung at him. Guybrush head-checked his stomach, knocking him over. The rest of the crew raced past as Sharkjaw sprawled on the ground. The hurried through the dark jungle, Jan lighting their way. Blackeye glanced back to see more Sharkjaws coming up from behind. Guybrush stopped running, the rest crashing into him, as he saw Sharkjaws coming from the opposite direction.

"Dese guys are e'rywhere!" Blackeye exclaimed, "Whadda we do?!?"

"Don't worry." Guybrush said, "I'll think of something...think..."Sharkjaws from all four corners came towards them. The three characters huddled back-to-back-to-back, Guybrush getting ready to fight. They advanced, all growling and angry. Guybrush swung his sword at a couple, hitting them along the sides, but only causing them to disappear and come out of the jungle again.

"Frankly, I'd really like to see how we get out of this one." Jan said.

"Who says we do?" Guybrush asked.

"So whadda we do?" Blackeye asked.

"Same thing any other cartoon character would do when in trouble." Guybrush said.

"We're going to go into a song and dance sequence for totally no reason?" Jan asked.

"Right!" Guybrush said.

It's a Pirate's Life to me!

GUYBRUSH: We're a bunch of scandalous sea dogs,
Goin' after gold,
JAN: If any one tries to stop us,
We'll hack them into mold!
BLACKEYE: When we find dat times are tou-ough,
And da trail's gettin' rou-ough,
GUYBRUSH: We'll sit right back just drinkin' grog,
All the while, gettin' flogged!

ALL: Cause it's a pirate's life to me!
GUYBRUSH: Sing it, boys!
SHARKJAWS: A pirate's life to me!
JAN: When we come a runnin' all our enemies will flee,
ALL: It's a pirate's life to me!

(Blackeye starts playing electric guitar while the Sharkjaws go into a choreographed dance)

GUYBRUSH: Sword-fightin' mocks 'n insults,
They'll get ya every time,
JAN: And if that don't work, just sing along,
And try to make it rhyme,
SHARKJAW: Ya can bounty hunt, plunder, and maim,
The cash comes in a tidy bunch,
BLACKEYE: Ya get keelhauled from 9 to 5,
And still have time fer lunch!

ALL: It's a pirate's life to me!
In sailin' the seven seas,
Doin' inhumane things makes me really happy,
It's a pirate's life to me!

GUYBRUSH: We're a big great nutty hash,
We like to let our teeth go rot,
JAN: We'll sing songs for totally no reason,
Then swab poop decks a lot!
BLACKEYE: We like our cash and booty,
We're an avaricious clan;
ALL: We'll get all drunk beyond belief,
Then go and bother Stan!

ALL: It's a pirate's life to me!!!
Don't believe us and we'll make you see!
It's a pir-ates life for me-me-me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GUYBRUSH: It's a rough life,
JAN: A nasty life,
BLACKEYE: A completely vile life,
SHARKJAW: But you'll love it anyway,
ALL: But get hated by your wife!
(BLACKEYE: This is a funny song!)
It's a pi-rates life to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Songs ends, everyone drops to their knees)

"Now!" Guybrush yelled. As the army of Sharkjaws were temporarily distracted and had completely forgotten about the trio. Guybrush, Jan, and Blackeye rushed past them and headed deeper into the jungle. A moment later, the Sharkjaws realized what had happened and raced after them, all growling as usual.

"Hurry!" Jan said, "They're gaining on us!" Guybrush looked back to see them coming up fast. He hit his head on a low branch and collapsed to the ground dazed. Jan turned back to help Guybrush and helped him back up, banging his head on another low branch as he went. They topped running upon hearing a growling ahead of them. Jan lifted her lantern to see a pack of Hyenas ahead, and some Ocelots in the trees, all pretty angry.

"I guess our singing woke them up." Guybrush said. The Ocelots pounced! Guybrush and Jan ducked as they went flying over them, into the group of Sharkjaws! The Hyenas came forward! Guybrush and Jan jumped over them as they came, and they went running into the Sharkjaws! There was a terrible fight as the Ocelots and Hyena fought savagely with the Sharkjaws! Guybrush and Jan hurried off while they still had the chance. They encountered Blackeye far ahead, standing at the mouth of a cave, that was shaped like a dragon's head.

"We lost them hopefully." Jan said, "Let's hope the Ocelots and Hyenas can hold them off for some time while we get the Dragon's Heart."

"Dis is it, cap'en." Blackeye said, "Ya wanna go in or should I?"

"I'll go in." Guybrush said, "This shouldn't be too hard." Guybrush stepped forward to the cave and passed through the Dragon's Jaws, into the Dragon's Throat. He headed down a long corridor, that lit with an awesome red radiance from the walls. He carefully stepped through, keeping an eye out for traps and stuff. As he came to the end of the tunnel, there were two openings there. The first lead straight ahead into a large chamber filled with lava, the Dragon's Stomach. The other passage had been recently smashed through the stone wall to his left. Guybrush stepped through the man-made passage, onto a curved stone in a dark room. The Dragon's Lung. Guybrush looked around the place, the spotted something under the tunnel he had exited. Just between the Lung and the Throat, he saw it. The Dragon's Heart, a large heart-shaped ruby diamond.

"It's beautiful!" Guybrush exclaimed, reaching into the gap for it. He grabbed onto it and carried it out of the room. It was pretty heavy. As he left and re-entered the corridor, he spotted a Komodo Lizard standing in the way back to the surface. It stared up at Guybrush.

"Hey, little fella, you're in the way." Guybrush said.

The lizard stared.

Guybrush shrugged, stepped past the lizard and headed back up to the surface. A huge ball of flame burst out from behind him! He dropped the Heart raced across the corridor in terror! He screamed as the flames hit his butt and he went flying out of the Dragon cave and into the clearin, where his friends were. He glanced back at the cave to see the little Komodo Dragon just looking back at him, then scuttling back into the cave.

"Didja get it?" Blackeye asked.

"There's a stupid dragon in there!" Guybrush exclaimed, "And it blew fire on me!"

"Oh, come on." Jan said, "Just kill the stupid thing." Guybrush stood up, drew his sword and headed into the cave. Jan and Blackeye watched Guybrush down into the Earth again. They heard him talking.

"All right, you ugly mother of a lizard!" Guybrush said, "Get ready to become a handbag!"

Fire burst out of the cave entrance! Guybrush came racing out on fire! He quickly stopped, dropped, and rolled all over the ground, to put the fire on him. Jan and Blackeye helped him up.

"I take it violence isn't the answer this time?" Jan asked.

"That little bugger must've had chili peppers for breakfast!" Guybrush said, "He could boil the Atlantic Ocean with his breath!"

"Sharkjaw!" Blackeye exclaimed, "Whaddabout dem? Dey'll be here any second!"

"All the more reason to hurry this up." Jan said, "I guess we have to fight fire with fire." She entered the Jaws and turned around.

"Come on, I'm going to need help with this." she said, heading back into the cave. Guybrush and Blackeye followed after her. She lifted up her lantern as they came to the bottom of the tunnel, where the dragon couldn't be seen anywhere. Guybrush looked around for the Heart, but it was nowhere to be seen. They headed into the Lung chamber again, where Guybrush relocated the Heart, which was back in it's proper spot.

"Take it." Jan said, extinguishing her lantern, making the room slightly darker. Guybrush reached in and pulled out the Heart again. They started to head back out, when the little dragon blocked their way again. Jan stood in front of the other two.

"Careful, Jan." Guybrush said.

"Go around, you guys." she said, "I'll take care of this reptilian flame-thrower." The lizard kept an eye on Guybrush and Blackeye as they went around, Jan stayed behind it. The dragon lifted it's head and flames came bursting out! Jan threw the open end of her lantern over it's mouth, causing it breathe fire right into the lantern. It stopped for a second and shrieked as it had just burned it's nose. It pulled out from the newly lit lantern and backed away through Jan's legs and for the edge of the corridor. Jan came running up to it and kicked it way off into the lava in the Stomach chamber. The ground rumbled and shook all around, and pieces of the ceiling came loose. Jan jumped back as she realized the lava level was rapidly starting to rise! She turned and hurried away as lava came flowing up behind her! She raced past Guybrush and Blackeye who were still carrying the Heart out of there.

"Run, guys!" she yelled, "This dragon is about to blow chunks!"

"What did you do now, Jan???" Guybrush asked.

"Just run, stupid!" Blackeye yelled. They hurried out of the cave and came face to face with the Sharkjaw brigade. They were surrounding the entire cave, making there no escape.

"No we have you, Greenwood!" Sharkjaw said.

"Threepwood!" another Sharkjaw said. Jan tugged at Guybrush's arm.

"On top of the cave!" she said, climbing up over the jaws onto the snout of the cave. Guybrush and Blackeye scampered up after her as the Sharkjaws made a quick advance! They surrounded the base of the cave.

"We'd like ta see you stay up there forever!" a Sharkjaw yelled.

"We don't intend to." Guybrush said as lava quickly came flowing out the mouth of the cave and into the horde of Sharkjaws!!! Any Sharkjaw standing in the path of the lava melted away screaming and disappearing in flashes of light. The base of the cave melted loose, and the top jaw of it, on which Guybrush, Jan, and Blackeye stood came crashing down into the lava, serving as a temporary raft! The Sharkjaws jumped away as they flowed away with the river of lava!

"Ha!" Guybrush laughed, "Try to catch up with us now!" And with that, they came flowing over a hill and went sliding down a fast-moving river of lava, burning through the jungle at break-neck speed! They clung tightly to the stone as trees, plants, animals, rocks, came flying over them, burning away, as the slab of stone they rode on, started to rapidly melt away itself!!! Jan grabbed the men's hands and pulled them to their feet.

"JUMP!" she yelled. All three leapt off the slab of stone as it completely burned away into the lava. They rolled away from the river into the town and watched the lava sink away into the ocean, steam everywhere, and new rock being formed everywhere as the lava rock cooled in the water.

"That's something you don't see everyday." Guybrush said. The island shook violently and the volcano from which the lava flowed from erupted violently! The waves crashed against the shores and rocks went flying everywhere! Trees sunk down as the island snapped apart! The volcanic island stayed in position with all the Sharkjaws on it, new ones reappearing, only to be trapped on the island. The other half, with the town of Dracus on it, slowly drifted away.

"I guess that should keep the Sharkjaws busy for now," Jan said, "Until they find a way off, or die on there. Either way, we'll have trouble again. You got the Heart?" Guybrush reached into his coat pocket and extracted the large ruby Heart.

"Look at da size of dat rock!" Blackeye exclaimed.

"Pretty big." Jan said, "Let's get that map and be on our way. The sooner we find the Fountain, the sooner our problems with the Sharkjaw Spell will be over."

As they came into the town, they were surprised to see people everywhere, and not just the sleazy-looking kind, but practically tourists of all sorts! Lights were hung up everywhere and music blared from all over!

"What happened?" Guybrush asked, "The last I saw this place I thought it was a ghost town!" They suddenly noticed most of the people gathered around a new building, with a large sign over it: Al's Donuts!

"Al's Donuts?!?" Blackeye exclaimed, "Al started a donut business?" They hurried over to the stand where people were buying donuts by the few dozen. Al was behind the counter, working hard and eating at the same time.

"Al!" Guybrush exclaimed, "What are you doing? You started a donut operation without me! That's not how we planned it!"

"We planned it?" Al asked.

"Well, no." Guybrush said, "What are you doing anyway?"

"Well, Bob, I realized that this island was filled with the sap required to make my special donut recipe." Al said, "How could I let this go to waste? So I opened my own donut shop here and it's packing the tourists in!"

"That's the second smartest thing he's ever done!" Jan exclaimed.

"What was the first?" Guybrush asked.

"Remembering to swallow." Jan said.

"So anyway," Al said, "I'm your crew."

"You can't quit our crew!" Guybrush exclaimed, "Why, without you, we'd, uh....we'd, uh....Jan? What did Al ever do to us that was useful?"

"Nothing." Jan said.

"Oh, well, in that case," Guybrush said, "Good luck on your business, Al!"

"Thanks, Bob." he replied, "Wanna donut?"

"Not now." Guybrush said, "We have to deliver this Dragon's Heart to the map merchant." Suddenly, the map man bumped right into Guybrush, chewing down on donuts.

"You know this guy?" the man asked, "I'll tell ya, these are the greatest donuts I've ever tasted! Listen, if you can convince him to let me have ten million pieces 'o eight worth of free donuts, I'll give ya the map for free!"

"Without the Dragon's Heart?" Guybrush asked.

"The Dragon's Heart is nothing compared to these babies!" the man said.

"Hey, Al!" Guybrush said, "Do you think you could give this guy free donuts so that he can give us the map?"

"Sure thing, Bob!" Al said, "Anything to help my ex-captain!"

"Great!" the man said, reaching into his coat and extracting the map, "Here it is, now get out of my face! I have donuts to eat!" And with that, he ran back to the stand for more. Guybrush looked at the rolled-up map in his hand, and the Dragon's Heart in the other. Jan and Blackeye looked over his shoulders at them.

"We lose a crewmate, we gain the map and a fortune." Guybrush said, "This is a pretty good deal to me."

"So we're what?" asked Blackeye, "Down ta four?"

"Considering we don't lose anyone else." Guybrush said, "Come on, let's get back to the ship!" They hurried back through the first passage through the jungle, back to the beach where the ship took ground. Someone was nearby putting up a sign marked: "Welcome to Donut Island!" The ship had been already shook off the ground by the eruption and was awaiting the crew. Gramma was leaning over the railing waving to everyone. Jan hopped up on the overhanging rope and pulled herself up onto the ship, followed by Guybrush and Al.

"Well, gang, we've got the map." Guybrush said, "Blackeye set a course for this particular island on the map." Blackeye took the map and looked it over.

"What island is dat?" he asked, "It don't appear in any 'o my navigational charts!"

"Well, it appears on this one." Guybrush said, "Let's go! Raise the sails!"

"They are raised." Jan said.

"Oh." Guybrush said, "Um, is the anchor weighed yet?"

"No." Gramma said.

"Well, in that case, weight the anchor!" Guybrush ordered. Jan reeled in the anchor and the ship started to sail off into the horizon. Guybrush sat at the bow of the ship and stared out to sea.

"Somewhere out there," he said to himself, "The secret to eternal life lays, and the answer to our current problem. The one thing man searches for, but never finds, yet our need for this is not what other people want. Kind of ironic."

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Jan asked.

"Um, is everyone listening?" Guybrush answered.

"Yes." Jan said, "You're creeping us out."

"Sorry."

Part 4: The Fountain of Youth

Malwobbly's Traveling Voodoo Emporium sailed over the sea. Malwobbly sat in her kitchen cooking eggs and watching soaps on her TV. She also wore a nightrobe, had curlers in her hair, and had a green face mask on.

"Life sucks." she said to herself. There was a banging on the door. She quickly removed her face mask and curlers, wrapped a turban around her head, removed her nightgown, turned off the TV, hid the eggs, put on her voodoo dress, and jumped in front of her voodoo fire, sitting in her regular position.

"Come in..." she said, then looked at a security monitor she set up, "...Mr. Sharkjaw." Sharkjaw opened the door and came in.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked.

"I am all-seeing." she said, "Now what do you want...no, wait. I see you are here because of...Guybrush Threepwood?" She was only taking a chance with that guess, but it was logical to her.

"That is correct." he said, "I want to know where that insignificant insect is headed."

"Mr. Threepwood is on a quest to remove your purchased spell." she said, "He is headed for the Fountain of Youth."

"Fountain of...Purchased spell?" he asked, "What purchased spell?"

"Do you not recall your Voodoo Revenge spell?" she asked, "In case you were ever defeated?"

"Ah, yes!" he exclaimed, "I forgot about that! But you said he's headed for the Fountain of Youth?"

"Correct." she said, "But very little people know where that is, including me. And there is only one map, which I presume Guybrush already has..."

"So to Nautilus Island I go!" Sharkjaw exclaimed, "Step aside, I'm taking control of your ship!"

"Nautilus Island?!?" Malwobbly exclaimed, "But how did...TAKING CONTROL OF MY SHIP?!?"

"Yes!" Sharkjaw laughed, getting at the rudder, "By the way, your coffee's boiling."

"Ah, crap!" Malwobbly exclaimed, "This isn't my day!" She jumped to her feet and grabbed the boiling pot off the stove.

And at Guybrush's ship...

Dawn has already come, and Guybrush's ship had traveled a good distance. Fortunately, the destination island isn't too far, as is anything else when you're deep in the Caribbean. Guybrush woke up from his hammock and hit his head on the overhead hammock. Since Al no longer slept up there, he found the feeling strange.

"Guys?" he asked, "Anyone up?"

"What?" asked a groggy Jan, two bunks up.

"Where's Blackeye and Gramma?" Guybrush asked.

"Blackeye's been driving all night." Jan said, "And Gramma always wakes up before 5. You should know that."

"I had the weirdest dream." Guybrush said, "Sharkjaw came back to life and then there was a whale, then tiny people, then lots of Sharkjaws, then Malwobbly, then a dragon, then a volcano, then Al left us for a donut shop...it sounds strange, huh?"

"Only when you explain it." Jan said, leaping down from her bunk onto the floor, putting on her coat, "Come on, we should be at the island soon enough."

"LAND HO!" Blackeye yelled, "Comin' up on some strange island!"

"There it is." Jan said.

"And I'm still hearing those voices..." Guybrush moaned, "They think we're at some island..."

"Wake up, Guybrush." Jan said, shaking him. He fell out of his bunk onto the floor and got up. The two of them headed up tot he deck where Blackeye and Gramma were glaring out at an island. The strange part about the island, was it's strange spherical shape that spiraled itself around to the center, almost shaped like a nautilus shell.

"Tis Nautilus Island, cap'en." Blackeye said, "Da legendary island. No one knew where it was, or what secrets it held. Now we know."

"And the Fountain of Youth is on there somewhere." Guybrush said, "Blackeye, get the rowboats ready, we're going in."

Moments later, all four pirates were into a rowboat, and Blackeye was in charge of rowing. They rowed up to the beach and came ashore. The island was lush in tropic flora and fauna, and a narrow stream flowed through to the center of the island.

"This island is beautiful." Jan said.

"No kidding'" Blackeye said, "But who's dat over there?" Everyone looked over to their right to see a tall handsome muscular dark-haired stranger strolling up to them and waving.

"Whoa." Gramma said, "He's buff."

"Tell me about it!" Jan said, "Wow!"

"Buff, schuff." Guybrush moaned, "Big deal."

"Howdy, gang!" the man said, "Strange meeting you here so soon! You're the same guys that left me on Devil's Island, aren't ya?"

"Excuse me?" Guybrush asked.

"Yeah, you guys!" he exclaimed, "Then came that Sharkjaw fella and I tried to follow him and ended up here!" Guybrush eyes lit up in shock.

"HERMAN TOOTHROT?!?" he exclaimed.

"Well, who'd you expect?" he asked, "Stan or those pirates of lower moral fiber?"

"That would've been more expected." Jan said, "What happened to you? You look so, so early twenties and buff, man! Wow!"

"I'm gettin' sick here." Blackeye said, "Quit usin' the word buff!"

"Buff!" Gramma yelled.

"AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Blackeye screamed.

"Quite amazing, really." he said, "I was thirsty, found this fountain, took a drink, and I was thirty years younger! Took another one, and look at me!"

"Where's the Fountain?" Guybrush asked, "Can you lead us to it?"

"I would," Herman said, "Except that Stan set up shop here on this island."

"Stan?" Guybrush exclaimed, "What the heck is Stan doing here?"

"Selling Previously-Owned Mattresses." he said, "And he built it right in the path to the Fountain so that anyone going there would have to enter his shop first. And I'm not going anywhere near that place! It's stinks!"

"I would guess." Guybrush said, "I suppose we could use the rowboat and paddle along the inner stream to the center of the island.

"I wouldn't." Herman said, "Toxins from Stan's shop have mutated a fish in those waters, and he's mean."

"So...we have to face Stan to get to the Fountain?" Guybrush asked.

"And move that pile of mattresses too." Herman said, "But that means you'd have to touch them."

"I think I'd rather face the mutant fish." Guybrush said.

"Oh, let's just go into the stupid shop." Jan said. She started heading off down the jungle path. The rest shortly followed.

After a few minutes of walking, they arrived at it. Stan's Previously-Owned Mattresses. A huge pile of mattresses loomed overhead beside a booth. The five of them, holding their noses, carefully entered the shop, and headed towards the pile, in which there would be no way around. They had to go through it.

"Careful." Herman said, "The slightest noise will startle him."

"Like what?" asked Blackeye.

"Like a hiccup or a sneeze, or something." Herman said.

"COUGH!" Guybrush coughed.

"...or a cough." Herman said. That's when the door of the booth was thrown open! Dressed in a party coat, a Mexican party hat, and a gas mask.

"Howdy, partners!" he exclaimed, "I'm Stan the Man, the owner of this fine establishment! We've got mattresses of all sizes, all shapes, all colors..."

"All smells." Guybrush said.

"Whatever." Stan said, shaking it off, "You want a mattress you've come to the greatest place! The best prices for the best in quality bedware! And it's our Spring Clear-out! All the springs must be sold! They're going fast, I'm telling ya!"

"Whee." Blackeye said.

"And our finer models have automatic drying systems!" he exclaimed, "No one will be the wiser! And for you lazy types, there's the auto-makers! Automatically makes your bed in the morning (but I do not recommend being in it when it does)! And what's the prices for these great items? What prices??? They're so small you can't see 'em!"

"Is buying a soiled mattress this necessary?" asked Jan.

"It is when you've nowhere to sleep!" he exclaimed, "Yes, these babies have got to be gone by noon today (before the smell gets worse, like it does everyday)!"

"We just want to get to the Fountain of Youth." Guybrush said, "Let us pass."

"Ooh, sorry, amigo!" Stan said, "That would mean reorganizing my merchandise...however, if you were to buy some of these fine babies, I might be able to remove some and let you pass..."

Gramma threw a right hook clear over Stan's face. He fell flat to the ground unconscious.

"Nice shot, Gramma." Guybrush said.

"No problem." she said, "Now how do you want to get past this?"

"We burn it down!" Blackeye exclaimed, lighting a match.

"No!" Jane exclaimed, "That'll make the smell worse!"

"How about if we just move a few out of place?" Guybrush asked.

"Dat means havin' ta touch dem." Blackeye said. A cannon roared and they all turned to see their ship being shattered away by several flying cannonballs!

"My ship!" exclaimed Guybrush.

"Forget the ship!" Jan exclaimed, "Look over there!" Coming up alongside the island was a ship loaded with Sharkjaws! The cannonballs kept going until the ship exploded in a shower of splinters. Guybrush's mouth gaped open. One problem. The ship kept sailing around the island, firing cannonballs into the jungle, and coming closer to the five...four of them.

"Where'd Herman go?" Guybrush asked.

"Never mind!" Blackeye exclaimed, "We've gotta get movin'! When dey come up to us, we're cannonball fodder!"

"But this stupid pile of mattresses is in the way!" Jan exclaimed, "It'll take hours to climb over if we were sick enough to try!"

"Well, we gotta hurry!" Guybrush said, "They're coming around at us!" The ship continued it's voyage around the island, ripping up the jungle as it went! A few cannonballs ripped by, shredding through Stan's sign! Stan woke up suddenly with a shock and hurried out of the way as a few cannonballs came flying into his area! Guybrush and his crew found themselves trapped between hundreds of cannonball beelines, and a pile of soiled mattresses!

"DUCK!" Jan yelled. They all ducked as a couple dozen cannonballs flew through the area, and crashed into the booth, blasting it into pieces. Another one smashed into mattress mountain, knocked several loose! The cannonballs bounced off the mattresses as they made contact, sending them flying everywhere! Guybrush rolled to the side as one came crashing down next to him. Blackeye jumped out of the way of a falling mattress! A hole was blasted straight into the pile, creating a temporary hole! Gramma jumped to her feet and leapt through the hole with the time she had.

"Hurry!" she yelled. The rest jumped through as the pile collapsed on itself, trapping Stan inside, just as the ship came alongside the pile, blasting it into several million pieces! Guybrush and the crew raced through the Nautilus Island jungle, cannonballs blasting away the jungle behind them in a total rapid fire succession!

"What do they got on those ships???" Guybrush asked, "Semi-automatic cannons???"

"Probably!" Jan exclaimed, "Just run!!!" They hurried around the island, as the ship continued following the shore line around the island and firing. As they came to the inner trails of the island, the ship had to continue with the circumference run, thus obtaining a wider range of fire as it went! Most of the jungle was gone on the outer spiral, allowing them a clear shot at the inner spirals. More of the jungle was blasted away, nearly missing the four heroes as they ran through the trails, getting narrower and narrower. With more of a range to fire at, and a smaller target as it went, the ship kept firing. Guybrush and the crew found themselves quickly backtracking all over the place as they ran right into the cannon fire from a particular angel, then had to hurry back the other way as they ran into the cannon fire on that particular side.

"They've got us surrounded!" Jan exclaimed.

"Just keep running!" Guybrush said. The jungle all around them was being blasting to bits as cannonballs came crashing through! They hurried through an already smashed area and finally arrived at the center, where they found it. The Fountain of Youth. A double-layered, beautifully crafted marble fountain with spouting water shooting off the top.

"There it is," Guybrush said, in a moment of silence, "The Fountain of Youth."

"It's beautiful." Jan said.

"Ah, da ship?" Blackeye asked.

"Just a moment, dearie." Gramma said, "We're admiring the fountain."

"It's about time you guys got here!" Herman exclaimed.

"Herman!" Guybrush exclaimed, "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I forgot to tell you that the mutant fish left a week ago." he said, "So I swam."

"D'oh!" Guybrush exclaimed. And, as expected, a series of cannonballs came blasting through the jungle, tearing it up as it went! They all dove for cover as the cannonballs ripped up the jungle paradise all around them!

"The water!" Jan exclaimed, "How do use the water? They're too far away!"

"Gramma!" Guybrush exclaimed, "Don't you have some gloves?"

"Yes." she said.

"And Jan, you have water balloons still?" he asked.

"I carry a few." Jan said. Guybrush took the gloves and put them on. He crawled over to the fountain, and carefully filled the water balloon with the fountain water, the gloves protecting his skin from the water. A tree came toppling over in a ramp-like position, it's center resting on a busted stump. Guybrush rolled out of the way of some cannonballs, and tossed the water balloon onto the lower end of the tree, it didn't break. Guybrush motioned for his crew to stand clear.

"All we need is a good clear shot from them!" he yelled. And it happened! A cannonball came flying into the upper end of the tree, sending the other end with the water balloon upwards! The water balloon was flung forward, at an incredible speed, and flew over the entire island! All the cannonfire ceased for a moment as all the Sharkjaws stared up at the unidentified flying object sent sailing towards them through the air. The water balloon came in contact with the head of one of them, splattering everywhere! The water covered Sharkjaw. As he wipe it away, he found himself slowly distengrating into a few sparkles of light then flickering out! His entire body went at once and exploded in a yellow light, sparkling sparks flying everywhere! Every other Sharkjaw on the ship started going sequentially, exploding in several sparks of magic! The entire deck of the ship exploded in light, followed by the ship itself! The outer core shattered into pieces flying everywhere and disten! grating into sparkles with died out quickly! The explosions settles, and the sparkles all died out. Guybrush and his crew, and Herman all stood up among the now desert island. The spell had been destroyed. All that remained on the island were shattered wood, some fuzz, the crew, and the Fountain.

"We did it." Guybrush said, shocked.

"WE DID IT!" Jan yelled. Everyone joined in dancing around singing.

"WE DID IT!" they sang, "WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!"

"Guybrush Threepwood," Herman said, "You've just destroyed the bad guy and saved your friends, what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to Scabb Island!" Guybrush said. Everyone cheered!

"Not if I can help it." Sharkjaw said. Everyone looked away from where the ship was, to where Sharkjaw was coming up from behind, Malwobbly's boat floating away in the background.

"What the heck?" Guybrush asked, "But we just destroyed the spell! How are you...?"

"I am the real Sharkjaw." he said, sharpening the blade at the end of his hand, and hobbling over towards Guybrush on his peg leg, "And I've come to finish the job."

"Well, geez!" Guybrush exclaimed, "Is there like a hat somewhere, and someone's pulling these guys out of it or something?"

"I'm back from Hell." Sharkjaw said, "You never killed me, but defeated me unfairly. Now, it is my turn."

"Well, listen, buddy." Guybrush said, "You've got five against one here, so give it up." Guybrush drew his sword. Blackeye pulled out his daggers. Jan drew her own sword. Gramma cracked her knuckles. Herman ran off.

"Another unfair fight." Sharkjaw said, "Come on, are you a coward???"

"No." Guybrush said, "And what do you expect? We're going to fight right here?"

"No." Sharkjaw said, reaching over to the statuette over the fountain and twisting it. A blue beam of light shot out of the sky and landed straight down on the fountain as steps materialized out of nowhere. "Here."

"Holy cripes on toast." Jan said, "What the heck is that???"

"The Arena Plane." Sharkjaw said, "A dimension only accessible from the Fountain, so frankly, it's pure coincidence that we happen to be here. It's in the Arena Plane, where we'll fight, and only the winner shall return to the mortal dimension alive."

"Well, what on earth is going to make me go up there?" Guybrush asked, "We could just get in the rowboat and leave right now, leaving you here."

"Head towards the light, Guybrush." Sharkjaw said, "Or I'll be hunting you down for the rest of your life."

"Let's rush 'im!" Blackeye exclaimed, rushing at Sharkjaw. Sharkjaw grabbed by the arm and held him over the fountain.

"Step into the light or he goes in!" Sharkjaw commanded.

"No, wait!" Guybrush exclaimed, "All right! A fair fight! You got it!" Guybrush stepped around the fountain, headed up the steps and stopped at the top of the steps. He looked down at his crew.

"No, cap'en!" Blackeye said, "Dinna go!"

"Wish me luck." Guybrush said, stepping into the light. He was immediately sucked up into the light and straight into the sky! Sharkjaw laughed and threw Blackeye into the water anyway! The fountain glowed and Sharkjaw laughed as he leapt into the light after Guybrush!

"Help!!!" Blackeye yelled, splashing away in the fountain.

"Hang on!" Gramma yelled, "I've save you!"

"Don't!" Jan yelled! Gramma dove into the fountain after Blackeye and the fountain erupted in light! The beam from the sky returned to where it came.

"Geez, this is a bad day for us." Jan said.

Part 5: Final Showdown

Guybrush opened his eyes. He had entered a universe unlike any other. Mostly black and fluorescent colors. The ground itself was an endless grid with blue lines and 3-D object could be seen everywhere. Guybrush looked down at himself.

"Holy smokes!" Guybrush exclaimed, "I'm all bulgy and stuff...I'm a computer generation! Awesome!" Guybrush checked himself out. He was completely third dimensional and moved incredibly smooth! Before him appeared Sharkjaw, also third dimensional.

"Where'd you find out about this place?" Guybrush asked.

"I always go here when I have a final conflict to solve with an enemy." Sharkjaw said, "The Arena Plane is an inter-dimensional plane between Afterlives where Archangels and Archdemons settle their conflicts. As of what we will do. Prepare to die." Guybrush drew his sword and lunged at Sharkjaw! Sharkjaw fended off his sword-hand and stepped on Guybrush's foot!

"Ow!" Guybrush exclaimed, "No fighting dirty!"

"You're so stupid the local idiot looks up to you!" Sharkjaw laughed.

"Ah, so you've been looking up to me all along?" Guybrush said.

"Ooh!" Sharkjaw said, lowering his guard for a second, "That hurt!" Guybrush attacked at him, fighting him back into a large cube that happened to be laying around.

"Your mother's a manatee!" Sharkjaw insulted.

"How appropriate." Guybrush said, "You fight like a cow."

"Huh?" Sharkjaw asked.

"Rats, I never knew how to use that one." Guybrush said. Sharkjaw pushed him away and attacked savagely with his sword hacking at Guybrush's. There was a sudden break in the fight.

"People run in terror when I draw my sword!" Guybrush exclaimed.

"You must've really failed Art Class!" Sharkjaw said.

"Hey, that was mean!" Guybrush said. Sharkjaw whacked the sword out of Guybrush's hand!

"Ha!" Sharkjaw laughed. He swung at Guybrush again, only to miss as Guybrush raced down the gridlines through the universe of computer animation. He ducked as a rolling sphere came past him, almost crushing him, and almost got smashed by a rolling cube. Guybrush dove for cover behind a 3-D cylinder and looked behind him for Sharkjaw. Sharkjaw was nowhere to be seen.

"Good." Guybrush said, "I lost him." A sword sliced away the top half of the cylinder, nicking Guybrush's hair.

"Guess again, Reapbud!" Sharkjaw yelled.

"Threepwood!" Guybrush exclaimed. He ran as Sharkjaw swung again. Guybrush raced throughout the place, looking for his weapon. He spotted his sword laying nearby. As he ran for it, a giant sphere came rolling past, smashing it into pieces!

"Oh, crap." Guybrush said, "There's got to be a better weapon around here somewhere!"

"Yoo-hoo!" Sharkjaw yelled, "Come here, Guybrush!"

"Man, he's getting on my nerves." Guybrush said. He ran into a tall skinny cylinder and knocked it over. Guybrush quickly grabbed the three-dimensional cylinder and rolled it off across the plane. Sharkjaw came racing out from behind a pyramid, and tripped on the rolling cylinder! As he fell flat on his back, the huge sphere came rolling past! It rolled over his sword-hand, smashing his sword into several useless pieces. Sharkjaw looked at the useless stump he had for a hand.

"Argh!" he yelled, "Me sword! Ya smashed me sword! Now you're dead!" He jumped to his feet and rushed Guybrush! He tackled him, bringing Guybrush to his back! Guybrush held him off as Sharkjaw bared his fangs and snapped angrily at him!

"No biting!" Guybrush yelled, "No biting!" Sharkjaw's powerful strength were slowly but surely overpowering Guybrush's weak arms. Guybrush could feel his extremely bad breath and the schwinging noises his teeth made when they gnashed together. Suddenly, someone came flying down from a passing cube, landed over Sharkjaw, tightened her legs tightly around his neck, and did a forward flip, hurling him across the Arena Plane into a stationary cone. Sharkjaw slid down the cone onto his head, dazed. Guybrush looked at the 3-D woman who had just appeared. She was a totally full-figured babe, with long black hair and super legs as proven.

"Wow!" Guybrush said, "Thanks, whoever you are!"

"You should know me, Guybrush." she said, "We were on the same ship for months." Guybrush was baffled for a few moments, then it finally hit him.

"Gramma Rummy???" he asked.

"That's Rummy Ann to you." she said, "That Fountain does wonders. Too bad I can't say the same for Blackeye. But let's get out of here, I've got the portal open for a temporary time!"

"Great!" Guybrush exclaimed. The two of them raced through the grids, dodging the multi-sided objects, and up to a blue hole in the ground.

"Hurry, Guybrush!" Rummy said as she leapt into the hole. Guybrush turned to see Sharkjaw running straight at him.

"It was supposed to be a fair fight!" Sharkjaw yelled.

"This didn't seem fair to me." Guybrush said, then he leapt into the portal!

After what has a blast through light, he arrived at the top of the Fountain and leapt off to the ground, back in his own 2-D animated world.

"Guybrush!" Jan yelled, throwing him a sword. Guybrush quickly swung the sword at the light base, disassembling it from the rest of the fountain. The light went out and Sharkjaw came falling out of the sky screaming. Everyone hurried out of the way as he came splashing down into the middle of the Fountain, shattering it into pieces! The water went spilling everywhere, and quickly soaked into the ground. From the marble, all that was left was a little kid dressed like a pirate. Guybrush walked up to him and looked down at him. The kid started crying.

"No fair!" he cried, "You meanie!"

"You were one who was biting." Guybrush said.

"Uh-oh." Little Sharkjaw said.

"Wanna play kick the baby?" Guybrush asked.

"Don't kick the baby." Sharkjaw said. Guybrush deep-kicked the lightweight Sharkjaw way off over the island and into the middle of the ocean. Guybrush turned back to the rest, and Herman who had come back. There were no more old people. There was Jan, the new Gramma Rummy, who switched back to her old early twenties name Rummy Ann, Herman Toothrot, and...

"Blackeye!" Guybrush exclaimed, looking down at a tiny little kid with long black hair and dressed in a bandanna and pirate costume, "What happened to you?"

"Hewwo, Mistah Feepwood." he said.

"THREEPWOOD, YOU STUPID BABY!" Guybrush screamed. Blackeye started crying.

"Easy, Guybrush." Rummy Ann said, "He's had a hard time."

"A hod tim." Blackeye babbled.

"What do we do about him?" Guybrush asked, "Herman, is there an antidote?"

"How would I know?" Herman asked, "If I knew, would I had this great body? No! I'd be a wrinkled old man again!"

"Don't worry, Guybrush, I can care for him." Jan said, picking up Blackeye, "It'll be like raising my own kid. I can teach him how to pronounce words properly."

"Mommy!" Blackeye exclaimed.

"They're so cute at that age." Guybrush said.

"Feepwood!" Blackeye exclaimed.

"THREEPWOOD!!!!!!!!!"

"Shut up, Guy." Rummy Ann said, "Let's get out of here." Together, they all headed back tot he rowboat and rowed away the from the island, towards Skar Island, the nearest island available.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Guybrush asked, "Take that kid everywhere we look for Big Whoop?"

"Actually," Jan said, "I was thinking of quitting these adventures. After all, I'm already rich enough, I'm young and beautiful, and have a child to care for, what am I doing wasting my time looking for treasure???"

"Hey, yeah!" Rummy Ann exclaimed, "I've already wasted my life before being a pirate! Now I have a second chance to go and do all kinds of things I never got to do before!"

"That's looking at the bright side of things." Guybrush said, "So, you three are deserting me?"

"I guess so." Jan said, as Guybrush rowed ashore Skar Island, "Don't worry about us, we'll be able to handle ourselves. After all, we're rich and...wait a second. Aren't you carrying all of our money?" Guybrush reached into his coat and found the Dragon's Heart. He pulled it out and handed it over to Jan.

"Here," he said, "Carrying this thing around was too heavy anyway. With it, you can live a rich lifestyle and stuff."

"Thanks, Guybrush." Both girls said as they kissed him on the cheeks. Guybrush blushed for a moment, but quickly slapped himself in the head a few times.

"Elaine!" he exclaimed, "Remember Elaine!"

"Oh, yes." Rummy Ann said, "Where are you headed to now?"

"Well, if I ever want to find Elaine, I have to look for Big Whoop." Guybrush said, "So I'm headed for Scabb Island where I'm told there's someone who knows where it is. And because both LeChuck and Sharkjaw are disposed of, what could possibly go wrong?"

"Well, I guess this is where we part ways." Jan said, "So long, Guybrush."

"See ya, Guybrush." Rummy Ann said.

"Buh-buh, Buybush." Blackeye babbled.

"Guybrush, Guybrush!" Guybrush exclaimed.

"He's just a baby." Jan said.

"Whatever." Guybrush said, getting back into the boat and rowing away.

"So long, crew!" Guybrush yelled, "I'll never forget you!"

"Same here, buddy!" they yelled back. They watched as Guybrush paddled all into the horizon.

"Do you think he'll be Ok?" Jan asked.

"No, I'm just guessing." Rummy Ann said. A nearby tidal wave plowed over Guybrush's rowboat off in the distance.

"You're not a good guesser." Jan said.

"Let's go get some coffee." Rummy Ann said, "Then we can go to singles bar and tantalize elderly men."

"Sounds like fun!" Jan exclaimed.

"Hey, wait a second!" Rummy Ann exclaimed, "What about Herman Toothrot?"

"What about him?" asked Jan.

-

"Hello?" called out Herman, "Where'd ya guys go??? You forgot me!"

Herman stared around at his destroyed home.

"Well, at least I have Stan to keep me company." Herman said. Stan rowed away in his spiffy blue boat.

"Not anymore!" Stan laughed.

Herman moaned.

"Well, at least I know I've got a far life ahead of me with this great new body." he said, "Hmmm...this pineapple looks delicious!"

Herman ate the pineapple. Immediately, his muscles dehydrated, a blast of hair shot out from his chin, his legs got so scrawny, and his hair turned white. He felt himself and moaned. He had found the stupid antidote and the Fountain was no more.

"This bites."

The End

You've played the game, you've read the walkthru, you've visited the websites, you've phoned the hint lines, now you hear the story from what Elaine's been constantly hearing, here comes the final adventure in the Big Whoop Trilogy:

LeChuck's Revenge!



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